


My Little Sun

by blackmeteor



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fantasy, M/M, Personifications, sun and moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2019-11-27 13:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18194990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackmeteor/pseuds/blackmeteor
Summary: There had never been two suns born so closely together. Too soon, the others will say. Jisung and Felix were born with merely a day to separate them. They grow up; they fall in love. But, how long will the heavens let them be?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fic that came to be just because jisung and felix are called sunshine twins. my friend and i wanted to "swap" with our fic genres so i got to write angst. ;; 
> 
> this fic may have a lot of complications because it's hard to explain how exactly this is going to be but hopefully, things will become clear in the second chapter. 
> 
> short intro though: jisung and felix are sun people. they are suns but not the sun up in the sky. not yet. they are born as kids already. let's say 10ish? time flows a little differently in their pasture as well. it's a little longer. this will be explained better in the second chapter. 
> 
> anyway, please leave any questions you may have?? comments and kudos are much appreciated. ^-^

Little Jisung’s eyes widened as he saw the bright light coming from the sky. He had never seen a light that bright in his, admittedly short, stay in the pastures. The cloud people surrounding him had started murmuring amongst themselves but Jisung paid them no mind as he raced across the pasture, eager to reach the ball of light. Stopping by the edge of the hill, Jisung peered as the light slowly dimmed to a more acceptable sheen. Trotting down the hill, the little boy was already all smiles as he got nearer. He had a good feeling about this.

 

“Hi!” Jisung said enthusiastically, crouching down by the other boy’s side. “I’m Jisung of the sun! What about you?”

The other merely stared at Jisung, gawking at the other’s face before speaking, voice slow and deep. “My name’s Felix.” A careful, small smile made its way through the other’s face. “And I’m of the sun too!”

 

A wide grin broke through Jisung’s face and he crawled forward, pulling the other in a tight hug. Felix froze up for a second before letting out a loud giggle, the melodious sound echoing in Jisung’s ears for a long time.

 

“We’re going to be together forever, Lixie!”

\--

_There were murmurs among the celestial creatures, puffs of stories from the wind and wisps of rumors from the clouds. They spoke of the birth of the two sun boys, born too close for comfort. No two suns had been born in succession with only a few hours to separate them, not even a full day of difference._

_“Is this normal?” a cloud whispered._

_The wind let out a gust of breath. “I do not think this has happened before.”_

_“What does it mean then?”_

_“Who knows?”_

\--

An older sun person who went by the name of Wonpil took Jisung and Felix under his wings. He told the two younger suns of the stories that he grew up with, the legends that surrounded their very existence. Jisung listened to their lessons diligently, raptured by the way Wonpil’s brightness seemed to flicker depending on his excitement regarding the stories. Felix, on the other hand, had the attention span of a child, much like he was. He would always yawn and pout throughout the lessons, wanting to play with Jisung instead. He claimed that he liked it better when Jisung would retell the stories to Felix, causing the other sun to blush at the statement.

“Sungie, let’s go and play at the meadows today!” Felix said, tugging on the older’s hand.

Jisung sighed, shaking his head. “Lixie, we have to meet with Wonpil hyung. He’s probably waiting for us by the giant tree already.”

The younger pouted. “But all you do in our lessons is listen to Wonpil hyung.”

“That’s what we’re supposed to do, idiot.”

“But… you don’t pay attention to me then.”

 

Jisung paused in his tracks, looking at the other boy and drinking in the sight that was Felix. Felix’s hair was slightly orange these days, a hint of pink on their tips. Jisung’s hair was never like that; the only color changes it went through was between different shades of brown. The only time that he went blonde was for a week and he and Felix had been delighted because the younger was blonde back then as well. Wonpil said there was no proper explanation why their hair changed colors on their own but Jisung didn’t really care for the explanation. He cared more for the way the different hair colors brought out Felix’s beauty even more. Even now, with the slight breeze playing with Felix’s hair, Jisung could feel his heart constrict at the sight. He would never tire of seeing Felix.

 

“When have I ever not paid attention to you?” Jisung whispered, pulling on Felix’s hand and bringing him closer.

Felix pouted, holding onto Jisung’s hip. “When you give all your attention to Wonpil hyung.”

Jisung sighed. “That’s not true, Felix.”

 

Felix merely shrugged, leaning more onto the older until Jisung was holding up both of their weights. Letting another sigh escape his lips, Jisung rubbed his hand against Felix’s back in a comforting manner. He wondered how Felix could say that he gave all his attention to Wonpil when Jisung could hardly ignore Felix sitting so close to him during their lessons. It was in the way that Felix would always pull on Jisung’s hand, a sign that he was getting bored, and would content himself to playing with the older’s fingers and Jisung could hardly stop the blush rising from his cheeks, each point of contact sending a spark across his body. It was in the way that Jisung would automatically wrap his arms around Felix when the younger would lean against him, listening to the lesson for once and staring at Wonpil with something akin to wonder in his eyes. Jisung, on the other hand, had to stop his eyes from fluttering close and just nestling in Felix’s warmth. And sometimes, it was even when Felix would do nothing and gaze out in the open and Jisung had to focus and not stare at the other.

 

_How was that giving all his attention to Wonpil?_

Still, Jisung didn’t say anything to the younger, content on holding Felix close for now. He knew that actions reassured the other more than words. Jisung tipped his head back, noting the clear sky and had to swallow back another sigh; Wonpil was waiting for them but still…

 

“What do you want to play, Lix ah?” Jisung said, trying to make it sound like a nuisance.

Felix pulled back, a wide grin plastered on his face as he looked at Jisung. “Thank you, Sungie!”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky I love you.” Jisung replied with an eye roll.

The wide grin softened and somehow that made Jisung’s heart race faster. “I am.”

 

And later when they inevitably came across Wonpil, the older sun could only sigh and shake his head at the apologies the two stammer out, Jisung’s sincere while Felix’s weren’t. Felix dashed off to the meadows, surrounded by the tinkling laughter of some wind sprites as Jisung and Wonpil hang back. Jisung chanced a look at the older and despite the numerous sighs escaping Wonpil’s lips, he knew that the older wasn’t really upset. Something about Felix just made them unable to be upset at him for a long time.

 

“I expected you to responsible, Jisung ah.” Wonpil said.

Jisung pouted. “I wanted to go to your lesson, hyungie!”

“But Felix didn’t?”

The younger flushed, looking down at the ground. “Well…. He didn’t say that exactly.”

Wonpil sighed before letting out a chuckle. “It’s okay, Sungie. I know you can never say no to Felix.”

“Yes, I can!” Jisung retorted, face hot.

“Sungie! Let’s go to the pond!” Felix exclaimed, waving Jisung over.

“I…” Jisung stammered, looking between Wonpil and Felix. “Coming!”

 

Jisung tried to ignore the melodious laughter following him as he raced across to get to where Felix was. He fell into the younger’s waiting arms and suddenly, Jisung didn’t care about Wonpil teasing him. He just wanted this boy to keep holding him like this forever.

\--

Wonpil was having a hard time giving them lessons. Jisung could see it in the way the older kept on sighing and he really was trying to behave and focus but Felix was proving to be way more distracting than he had expected. Still, it came to them as a surprise when Wonpil brought someone else with him on their next lesson. Judging by the glow of his hair coupled with the brightness of his smile, Jisung guessed that the stranger was of the sun as well.

 

“This is Youngjae.” Wonpil introduced. “He’s going to be teaching Felix from now on.”

Jisung felt his heart drop. “You’re separating us?” He could already feel the younger holding onto his arm and Jisung scooted closer. “Hyung…”

“I’m sorry but the two of you together are just too distracted. You don’t listen and trust me, you’re going to want to be prepared.” Wonpil explained, an edge to his voice that Jisung didn’t like.

Youngjae crouched down, smiling at Felix. “You must be Felix, right? You are cute.” He extended a hand. “I’m Youngjae. I hope you’ll treat me well.”

Felix squinted his eyes, still clutching onto Jisung. “Yeah, I’m Felix. I still don’t want to be separated from Jisung even if you call me cute.”

Youngjae laughed. “You really like Jisung, hm?”

Jisung tried not to blush when Felix enthusiastically nodded. “I do. So please don’t take him away from me.”

An unsettled quietness lingered in the air for a few seconds before a soft sigh came out of Youngjae’s lips. Tilting his head, Youngjae pouted. “Hyung has something to show you though. Do you like cloud dogs?”

 

Jisung froze up when Felix’s grip eased up, head perking up with curiosity. Youngjae grinned, pleased to have the younger’s attention before letting out a low whistle. A few seconds passed when a white blur bounded to them, jumping on Youngjae. Felix let go of Jisung’s arm, eyes bright as he crawled closer to see the dog. The dog was cute; Jisung had to admit. It was yipping and jumping and down as Youngjae cooed at it. And when Youngjae pointed towards Felix, the dog bounded over, excited to meet its new friend. That was when Jisung knew it was a lost cause.

 

“Jisung, Jisung, look at how cute this dog is!” Felix chanted, kissing the cloud dog’s head. “He’s so soft!”

Jisung giggled, sitting down beside Felix. “It is. He’s really cute.” Jisung said, looking at Felix.

“His name is Coco.” Youngjae supplied. “If you want to play with him, Felix, you’ll have to come with me.”

 

Felix paused, hand stilling on the white dog while he looked at Jisung. Jisung looked back at him, eyes wide. He could see that Felix was going to choose him, hand already rising from where it touched the dog so Jisung beat him to it.

 

“Go join Youngjae hyung, Lixie.” Jisung said with a smile. “I’m getting tired of seeing your face all day long anyway.”

Felix snorted. “Liar.” He paused, “Are you sure, Sungie?”

Jisung felt his heart swell at the serious look Felix was sporting. He knew that if he asked, Felix would give up the dog and stay with him. He glanced at Wonpil and saw his hyung shake his head almost imperceptibly. He let out a sigh, carding his fingers through Felix’s hair. “I’m sure, Felix. We’ll still see each other after lessons anyway.”

 

Felix nodded with a small sigh. Jisung hummed as he played with the younger’s hair and drinking in the sight of the other. It was just lessons but it felt like a temporary goodbye. Youngjae cleared his throat after a few minutes, signaling that they should leave. Felix grabbed onto Jisung’s hand, squeezing it before leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

 

“See you later, Jisung.” Felix said in a quiet voice.

Jisung shivered, trying not to follow when the younger got up. “See you later, Felix.”

 

Jisung and Wonpil watched as Felix followed after Youngjae, Coco happily trotting along the two suns. Jisung could see that the younger was already engrossed in a conversation with the other and he could feel his body relax with relief. He didn’t want Felix to be sad, even when they weren’t together.

 

“Ready for lessons, Jisung?” Wonpil asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jisung sighed, tearing his eyes from the place where Youngjae and Felix had disappeared to. “Yeah, hyung. I promise I’ll listen this time!”

Wonpil smiled, a fragile little thing before he nodded. “You better, Jisungie. I don’t want you to be caught off guard.”

“What do you mean, hyung?”

Wonpil guided Jisung to the tree, one of his hands tugging on the primrose on the top of his head. “Sung ah, let me tell you the stories of the suns before us.”

\--

_“Jisung? Are you asleep?”_

_Jisung shut his eyes closed as he felt the other crawl over to him. The hut they shared was small and cozy, just enough for the two of them and though they had separate rooms, Felix had always preferred sleeping next to Jisung. Jisung had never complained about their set up, more content than anything about having Felix to hold throughout the night._

_Tonight though, Jisung wanted to be alone to digest the things that Wonpil had said when they were finally left alone. Even now, there was a cold gripping feeling in his heart and Jisung found it difficult to breathe._

_“I missed you today, Sungie. Youngjae hyung introduced me to his other friends but I still missed you.” Felix whispered. “I think I’m always going to miss you when you’re not there.”_

_Jisung’s heart stuttered at those words and he rolled to face the other. As usual, their glow was dimmed during the night but there was enough light from the window to illuminate Felix’s features and Jisung stared at the younger, heart both full and cold._

_“I missed you too, Lixie. Come here and tell me about Youngjae hyung’s friends.” Jisung said, opening his arms for the other to fall into._

_Listening to Felix’s deep voice droning on about the others he met, feeling the vibrations against his body from where he was pressed to Felix’s chest, Jisung couldn’t stop the single tear from falling from his eye._

_If only they could be like this forever._

\--

Jisung didn’t expect that having different teachers meant almost not seeing each other. Felix would be up early the next day and Youngjae would drop by their hut to pick the younger up before promptly disappearing. Jisung had tried asking Wonpil where they had their lessons but Wonpil would merely shrug, saying that he wasn’t sure himself. Jisung knew that Youngjae had all sorts of friends and he wondered if that was where they headed out for their lessons.

 

Jisung looked at Wonpil, staring at the flowers on top of the older’s head. Wonpil had said that every sun had their own set of flowers, having their own significance and meaning. Jisung couldn’t help but wonder how his flowers would look like.

As if sensing Jisung’s gaze, Wonpil plucked out a yellow orchid before handing it to Jisung. “Do you know what yellow orchids mean, Jisung?”

Jisung shook his head, playing with the flower. “I don’t really know what flowers mean, hyung.”

“I figured.” Wonpil smiled. “Yellow orchids mean friendship and well wishes, two things I want to bestow to you.”

 

Jisung grinned, placing the flower on the shell of his ear. Gesturing to a small flower patch, Wonpil started talking about the flowers and their different meanings and Jisung listened attentively. When they took a break, Jisung was already thinking of what flowers he could give to Felix. It was then that he felt Wonpil’s gaze on him.

 

“What is it, hyung?” Jisung asked.

Wonpil shook his head with a small smile. “Hyung just wishes he can do something more for you and Felix.”

“What do you mean, hyung?”

“Remember what I said about the older suns? Aren’t you scared of what will happen when that time comes?”

Jisung froze, dropping the sunflower he had been playing with. “Those are just myths, hyung. I’m not going to believe that.”

“Jisung… have you seen an older sun than me?”

 

Jisung shook his head rapidly, staring at the ground. He refused to let Wonpil see him cry but he couldn’t hide the shaking of his shoulders either. He could hear the older sigh before a gentle hand started patting his back,

 

“I’m sorry, Jisung. I just wanted you to be prepared. I didn’t mean to make you sad.” Wonpil whispered.

Jisung shook his head and wiped his eyes. “It’s not your fault that our lives are like this, hyung.”

 

The two of them sat in silence after that. Jisung slowly calmed down, taking in deep breaths and stared out at the horizon. The pasture seemed especially still today.

 

“Do you know how long…?” Jisung asked carefully, keeping his gaze far away.

He could hear the stutter of Wonpil’s breathing before the older let out a sigh. “Soon. I can feel it.” Wonpil chuckled, a little hollow sound. “Doesn’t help that I saw one of the moon children yesterday. Maybe he was scoping me out.”

 

The moon children, Jisung nodded stiffly, curling into himself. The moon children were almost like a myth to them, not having any time to actually interact with them. The fact that Wonpil saw them under these circumstances was a coincidence that Jisung didn’t particularly like. Just as Jisung was about to voice another question, there was a glimmer in the air and before he knew it, there was a giggling sun boy in his arms.

 

“I’m back, Jisungie!” Felix greeted.

Jisung chuckled, maneuvering them in a more comfortable position. “I can see that. Hi, Lixie.”

Felix flashed him a grin, gasping abruptly. Jisung stiffened when the younger crawled onto his lap, hand reaching out. “Jisungie, this is so pretty!” Felix said, gently touching the orchid on Jisung’s ear. “You look so beautiful with this.”

 

Jisung blushed, a pleasant warmth seeping in his entire body as he let Felix coo and coddle him. The younger carefully threaded his fingers through Jisung’s admittedly long hair, a happy smile on his face as he reached for the sunflower in Jisung’s hand, perching it on Jisung’s other ear.

 

“You look so beautiful, Jisungie.” Felix said, looking straight at Jisung’s eyes.

Jisung giggled, removing the sunflower and placing it on Felix’s ear instead. “You look so beautiful too, Lixie.”

“When do you think we’ll get our own flowers?” Felix asked innocently, unaware of the turmoil that it gave Jisung. “Youngjae hyung already started getting his flowers. I want us to get our own too!”

 

Jisung slowly glanced at Wonpil, looking away when he saw the resigned look on the older. It didn’t suit the older sun; suns were supposed to be bright and happy, not sad and defeated. Were they all going to end up like that?

\--

_“Sung ah, do you know where Wonpil hyung went?” Felix asked as they were getting ready for bed._

_Jisung froze, schooling his features into a blank slate. “Why did you ask, Felix?”_

_“Because Youngjae hyung didn’t want to answer me. He just got this sad look on his face. Is it far? Can’t we visit him?”_

_Jisung observed the younger. Felix’s eyes still held that innocence from when they first met, that untouchable purity that Jisung had never seen anywhere else. A part of him wondered why Youngjae didn’t bother to tell him about the stories of the older suns. Just what did Youngjae exactly teach the other?_

_But Jisung couldn’t blame Youngjae. No one wanted to rob Felix of the pure joy and happiness that he exuded. Felix could afford to be kept in the dark for a little while longer._

_“It’s really far, Lixie. We can’t visit him there. I don’t think we’re allowed.” Jisung said, wondering why the words tasted like a lie._

_“Oh.” Felix paused, considering the answer. “Well, as long as you don’t leave me like that, I guess it’s fine. Don’t go where I can’t follow, okay?”_

_Jisung swallowed thickly, voice a little tense when he replied. “Okay, I won’t.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe protecting someone from the truth isn't always the best way to go about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be a one shot...turned to a two shot and now, i dont know anymore. this just keeps growing nkkadjadkjsd but!! changbin and the others are finally here so hooray. 
> 
> let me know what you think ^^

Youngjae ended up taking Jisung under his wing as well. The first time that they saw each other, Youngjae had immediately seized Jisung in a hug, not letting go even when Felix had trodded over, glad to see Jisung but confused on why Youngjae was hugging him for that long. When Youngjae pulled away, his eyes were red rimmed but Jisung’s were still dry. He wasn’t going to worry Felix more than necessary. And as he watched Felix fuss over Youngjae, Jisung couldn’t help but wonder what will happen _after._

 

“I’m fine, Lix. Honestly. You’re making Coco worry as well.” Youngjae said lightly, petting Felix’s head.

The younger sun looked at Jisung, wordlessly asking him for help but Jisung pretended not to see, staring at Youngjae as well. “If you say so, hyung.” Felix said after a long while.

Youngjae smiled, the smile looking so fragile that Jisung had to wince. “Okay, what do you want to do today?”

“Can we visit and hang out with the clouds again? Sungwoon hyung said they were going to make rain clouds today!” Felix chirped excitedly, clinging to Jisung. “I’m so glad that you’re here now, Sungie! I’ve always wanted to show you Youngjae hyung’s friends!”

Rain clouds. How fitting, Jisung thought. “Not today, Lix.” Jisung said with a heavy heart, removing the hand on his arm. “I wanted to talk to Youngjae hyung about something. You can go visit this Sungwoon hyung on your own, right?”

“Oh.” Felix said, lowering his head as he nodded. “I’ll be, uhm, off then.”

 

Jisung bobbed his head once for a short nod, waiting until the other sun was gone from their sight before turning to Youngjae and holding onto the older tightly. Youngjae returned the hug with just as much fervor and it didn’t take long for the two of them to break down. A few minutes of holding onto each other and just crying their hearts out, Jisung felt a drop on his shoulder. He pulled back from the hug to witness the sky open and for the rain to fall. He tipped his head back, allowing the rain to join his tears. A part of him wondered if Wonpil saw the rain too, if the other sun was crying with him and Youngjae as well.

 

“You didn’t teach Felix about how we die?” Jisung asked though he knew the answer.

Youngjae shook his head. “I don’t have the heart to.” He paused, looking at Jisung meaningfully. “Will you?”

Jisung stilled, closing his eyes. He thought of the way Felix smiled, the brightness it carried. Could someone ever dampen that smile? Would Jisung be willing to do it? Shaking his head and opening his eyes, he pulled back from Youngjae completely, letting himself get wet under the torrents of rain. Youngjae, however, remained dry. Even the tear tracks on his face were already gone. Jisung frowned, thinking of the time when that would be him, when he would be the main sun. He wasn’t even allowed to show sadness then. What kind of a job would that be?

 

 _That would be a long time from now. Youngjae was born years before you. He’ll have you ready before he’s gone._ Wonpil had said those words to Jisung, maybe in an attempt to comfort him but it did nothing to lessen the weight on Jisung’s chest.

 

Jisung didn’t need _to be ready._ He needed Wonpil by his side. He needed Youngjae to stay with him and Felix.

 

Oh god, Felix.

 

Jisung had to bite his lip to stop the whimper that wanted to escape his lips.

 

_More than anything, Jisung needed Felix to be happy._

_­_ \--

Jisung felt heavy for the days to follow. The weight of Wonpil’s death was still on his shoulders and he hated how dull his light had been because of it. Felix had tried, more than once, to cheer him up by bringing him random flowers but the flowers only reminded him of Wonpil even more. Jisung tried not to notice the hurt on the other sun’s face when he threw the flowers away, claiming that they smelled too strong.

 

The only comfort that Jisung had was talking with Youngjae. Between the two of them, Jisung felt that Wonpil was still alive, maybe somewhere off far away like Felix believed but still alive. They would talk about Wonpil constantly, even foregoing proper lessons to reminisce about the older sun. Jisung’s light brightened during these conversations and some days, he felt like they were the only things that were keeping him alive and sane. He desperately wanted to cry in Felix’s arms but he wouldn’t be the one to break the younger’s spirit. He wouldn’t rob Felix of his innocence.

 

That was how the saying went after all. Ignorance was bliss, was it not?

\--

“What are those?” Youngjae questioned, halting Jisung midway of his story about the time Wonpil taught him how to catch butterflies.

Jisung paused, raising an eyebrow. “What are what, hyung?”

“Not you, Sung ah.” Youngjae pointed at Felix’s face. “On your face, Lix. What are those? Did you have them before?”

 

Felix slowly blinked as if being roused before he pointed at his face as well. Jisung crawled the few paces between them, trying to see what Youngjae had been pointing at. He gasped when he saw the brown smattering across the younger’s features. Those weren’t there before. When did they get there?

 

“They weren’t there before.” Jisung replied.

Felix glared at him—something he had never done before. “I can speak for myself, Jisung.” He turned to Youngjae. “They’ve been there for a while now. Maybe a couple of months?”

“A couple of months?” Jisung echoed. How could he not have noticed them then?

“Give or take.” Felix answered. “Can I go now? If the two of you are just going to be talking about Wonpil hyung again, then I’m going to visit Seungmin.”

“Who’s Seungmin?” Jisung asked the same moment that Youngjae said, “No, stay first.”

Felix raised an eyebrow, pouting as he brought his knees closer to his chest. “Fine.”

 

Jisung’s jaw dropped at how the younger was acting. This Felix was cold and shielded. Where did his warm sunshine go? When did the younger get so far away? Jisung stared at Felix, looking at him like he was seeing him for the first time. When did the younger get brown hair again? Since when did Felix’s light dimmer like that?

 

“Lixie…” Jisung said, the sadness echoing in his voice.

Felix huffed, turning his body away and only looking at Youngjae. “Why did you want me to stay, hyung?”

 

Youngjae motioned Felix to come closer, cupping the younger’s cheek when Felix was close enough. Jisung’s gut tightened as he watched. Jealousy pooled in his stomach. No one else but him had touched Felix as intimately like that and though he knew there was nothing romantic in Youngjae’s touch, Jisung still didn’t like it.

 

“These are freckles, Felix.” Youngjae said with something akin to awe in his voice. “These are so rare for sun people like us.” His face broke into a wide grin, the most sincere one he had since Wonpil died. “You’re so lucky, Lix!”

Felix turned to Jisung, eyebrows raised. “What does that mean?”

Jisung shrugged. “I don’t know.” He truly didn’t but Youngjae’s excitement was contagious and leaned forward to inspect the freckles as well. “They look like stars, Lix.” He said with a small smile. “You really are beautiful.”

“S-shut up.” Felix stammered out. Jisung leaned down to press a kiss on those reddened cheeks and he could see how Felix’s light glowed a tad brighter at that. “Anyway, hyung, what do you mean by I’m lucky?”

Youngjae leaned back, removing his hand from Felix’s cheek. “Suns with freckles are said to live a long time, Lix ah. That means you’re going to be the main sun for a long time.” He pursed his lips. “I guess it does make sense. No sun has been born after you and it’s been a long time.”

Felix grinned. “Really? That’s great news!” He turned to Jisung, cupping both of the older’s cheeks. “Where are yours, Sungie?”

Jisung sighed as he took in the other’s hopeful face. It felt like swallowing rocks when he tried to speak. “I-I don’t have them, Lixie.” Jisung’s hands shook as he placed them on top of Felix’s. “I’m not that special.”

Felix’s eyes glowed as he stared at Jisung. “You’re very special to me, Sungie.”

\--

_“Who’s Seungmin?” Jisung asked as they got ready for bed._

_Felix hummed, climbing on the bed. “He’s a friend I made. He’s a water nymph.”_

_“Water? Isn’t that…. Dangerous?” Jisung frowned. “And when did you meet him?”_

_“Minnie isn’t dangerous to anyone, maybe just to himself.” The younger replied, rolling his eyes. “He doesn’t even know how to make a bubble yet.”_

_“And how did you know that?” No answer. “Felix, did you… go to the lower grounds?”_

_The lower grounds were off limits to them. Water nymphs and earth spirits lived there but they could go up to the pastures. They couldn’t lose what made them who they were but for the sun, wind and clouds, going down there could be dangerous. Jisung’s hand curled into a fist._

_“That’s very dangerous, Felix. You know damn well we’re not allowed there. What if you couldn’t make it back?” Jisung hissed, voice tight with anger._

_“I know damn well?” Felix echoed, getting off the bed. “What do I know, Jisung? Tell me. I don’t know where Wonpil hyung went or why you and Youngjae hyung only kept talking about him. My lessons with Youngjae hyung were never like this!”_

_“Are you saying this is my fault?” Jisung shot back. “We got separated because you couldn’t take our lessons properly!”_

_“Well, I’m sorry that I wanted to spend more time with you rather than listen to whatever boring stuff Wonpil hyung said!”_

_“You take that back!” Jisung exclaimed, getting off the bad to push Felix back. “Wonpil hyung wasn’t boring! You’re just like this because you don’t know anything, you big idiot!”_

_Felix’s eyes were burning as they stared at Jisung and Jisung was sure that his were the same. He didn’t know how long it took but Felix gave up first. The fire in his eyes died down and it made Jisung’s heart drop. The same defeated look on Wonpil’s face was now on Felix’s face._

_No, no, no._

_“Lix, wait..” Jisung whispered. “I didn’t…”_

_Felix shook his head. “You’re right. I don’t know anything.”_

_Jisung gasped when Felix turned away, heading out of their room. “W-where are you going?” He glanced outside the window. “It’s nearly dusk. We should sleep.”_

_“I’m not tired. I didn’t use my brain anyway.” Felix said sarcastically. “Go sleep, Jisung.”_

_Jisung reached out for the other but Felix was already out the door, leaving only a cold wake. Dazedly, the older sun went back to their bedroom, slipping under the covers and pulling them as high as they could go. Felix and he had never argued like this before, had never had a situation wherein one of them would just leave. Jisung hated how it felt._

_Despite being a sun himself, Jisung was sure there was no warmth left in that tiny hut._

_\--_

Jisung waited impatiently for Felix to return home the next morning. There wasn’t a sign that the younger sun had dropped by in the middle of the night and Jisung worried about the other. Where did Felix spend the night? Were they even allowed to do that? When it was already time to meet Youngjae and there was still no sign of Felix, Jisung reluctantly headed to their meeting spot without the younger.

 

“Felix!” Jisung exclaimed, running down to the other and immediately engulfing him in a tight hug. “Oh my god, where were you?! I was worried sick!”

“Worried about me? What for? I’m just an idiot sun.” Felix replied, pushing Jisung back.

“Felix…” Jisung murmured, tearing up already. “Lix, please…”

“There you guys are!” Youngjae explained. “I can’t be with you today. Something happened.” His eyes flickered between the two. “Just… talk to each other or something. See you tomorrow!”

 

Jisung stammered out Youngjae’s name but the older was already gone, having run in an incredible speed. Biting his lip, Jisung turned to the younger sun, seeing the other’s tired features and his heart went out for the other. Where did Felix go last night? Holding onto Felix’s wrist, he pulled the younger to the giant tree, keeping his grip steady even when the other tried to shake him off. Jisung sat down under the shade, using more force than necessary to pull the younger down along with him.

 

“Let me go, Jisung. I’m going to visit my friends.” Felix hissed, glaring at Jisung.

“No. I missed you so you’re staying here with me.” Jisung argued.

“Missed me? Or you miss Youngjae hyung?” Felix scoffed. “I’m just your third wheel anyway.”

 

Jisung froze, staring at Felix in shock. Was the younger being serious? How could Felix ever be the third wheel? Shaking his head, Jisung cupped both of Felix’s cheeks, making the younger look at him. Felix was glaring at him. It wasn’t the first time but this had happened but it still hurt Jisung to see the younger mad at him. It took a few minutes but Felix had finally stopped struggling, the fire in his eyes cooling down as well. The glare was replaced by a forced look of indifference and Jisung wasn’t sure which hurt more.

 

“Felix, talk to me.” Jisung whispered, unable to bear the silence anymore.

“Why? You don’t listen to me anymore.” Felix replied coldly.

The older frowned. “What do you mean I don’t listen to you?”

“Yeah then who’s Seungmin?”

“A water nymph you befriended.” Jisung replied sharply. “See? I listen!”

“Who’s Jeongin?” Felix asked. “When did I last scrape myself rolling down that hill?”

 

Jisung removed his hands from Felix’s face and brought them closer to himself, hugging his torso as he started to cry. He had never heard Felix raise his voice, especially not at him. He didn’t like the way their conversation was going; they had never had a conversation like this before, more of an argument rather than a conversation, really.

 

“Stop crying, Jisungie. Please.” Felix whispered, tugging on Jisung’s hand.

Jisung raised his head, tears blurring his vision but he could still make out the frown on the younger’s lips. “Why are you being like this, Lix? This isn’t like you.”

“This isn’t like you either, Sung.” Felix replied, wiping the fresh tears that had fallen on Jisung’s cheeks. “I feel like I don’t know you anymore and that you don’t know me. I don’t think you even want to know me anymore.”

Jisung gasped. “Felix! Wha- why-how…?!”

“You don’t listen to me anymore, Sungie. Whenever I speak to you, it’s like my words just go right through you. I feel like I’m talking to a ghost. You’re only alive when you’re talking to Youngjae hyung.”

“Lix…” Jisung called out, unsure of how to proceed.

Felix shook his head, smiling sadly. “You don’t even know what to say because I’m right.” He stood up carefully, regarding Jisung with cautious eyes. “If you didn’t love me anymore, I wish you would have just said so rather than this. I would have understood.”

Jisung stood up quickly, grabbing Felix’s wrist. “What do you mean by I don’t love you anymore? Lix, baby, you know that’s not true.”

“I’m tired of you lying to me, Jisung.”

 

And Jisung froze. He knew that Felix meant something else, was talking about their current conversation but he felt guilty, guilty about everything, about Youngjae, about Wonpil. Wasn’t concealing the truth just another form of a lie?

 

“Thought so.” Felix said, pulling his hand away.

\--

_“What are you doing back here, kid?”_

_Felix huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched other approach. It was already dark, a little past the twilight hour and the sun already felt tired. He had been awake for almost an entire day now but he wasn’t going back home yet. He couldn’t bear to see Jisung’s face after what happened today._

_“I’m not a kid.” Felix huffed. “You’re probably only a little older than me, Changbin.”_

_“Then call me hyung, you disrespectful kid.” Changbin retorted, taking a seat by the grass. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”_

_“I should be.” Felix agreed, yawning. “But I’m not tired.”_

_“Yeah, that yawn totally proved that.” Changbin said, rolling his eyes. “Go home and sleep, Felix. It’s just going to be me tonight. You’re going to get bored.”_

_“Where’s Minho hyung and Hyunjin?”_

_“Contrary to popular belief, we do have things to do other than watch stray suns that don’t want to sleep even when it’s way past their bedtime.”_

_Felix huffed, kicking Changbin’s arm. “Why are you so mean? I’m telling Minho hyung you were mean to me.”_

_“Then tell him.” Changbin said, grabbing Felix’s foot. He sighed when Felix just pouted. “Lix, why aren’t you going home? You could get in trouble for this.”_

_“I won’t get in trouble. Everyone treats me like a kid. I don’t get in trouble. I don’t get to know things either.” Felix said, a little too bitterly for a normal conversation._

_Changbin was quiet for a moment before Felix felt a tap on his foot. He glanced down and saw the other tapping the space beside him. Felix smiled, sliding down the rock and taking a seat beside the other._

_“Sleep here. I’ll wake you before I go to sleep.” Changbin whispered._

_Felix grinned, lying down on the grass. “I knew you were a softie, hyung.”_

_“Don’t make me throw you into the pond.” Changbin threatened. “Now, sleep.”_

_\--_

Jisung woke up alone again. He didn’t move, didn’t get up and simply stared at the ceiling of their hut. Felix didn’t come home again. This had been the second night and it may not be a long period but for them who had never separated, it felt like lifetimes. Jisung felt heavy, heavy with a sadness that threatened to consume him.

 

Felix thought he didn’t love him anymore. Worse still was that Jisung knew that the younger completely believed it. Jisung didn’t say anything to correct Felix and now, the other was out somewhere, thinking that Jisung didn’t love him anymore.

 

“Felix…” Jisung called out, unsurprised to hear the thickness in his voice.

 

The young sun had no idea how long he just laid there, crying and calling out Felix’s name. He didn’t want to move, had no drive to do so knowing that the younger still wasn’t home. Jisung wanted to find the other, wanted to find him and tell him everything—about Wonpil, about Youngjae, about _them._ He wanted to tell Felix everything that the future could hold for them. He imagined it happening, tried to see himself breaking the news to Felix. What would he say?

 

_Felix, Wonpil hyung is gone. The moon had to do it, had to kill him._

_Felix, I only talk to Youngjae hyung a lot because we’re scared but at least, we’re scared together. We both know what’s next._

_Felix, I’m scared. I don’t want to disappear._

_Felix.. I love you but I don’t think I’ll be able to see you be the actual sun. I’m sure you’ll be beautiful. I wish I could see it._

_Felix, I don’t want to leave you._

Jisung sobbed louder, curling himself into a ball as he nestled into the spot where Felix usually slept. Gripping the sheets in his fists, the young sun wanted nothing more than to have Felix be there and tell him that it was going to be alright.

 

It was night the next time Jisung stirred. There were hands across his body, gently pushing him to the wall. He cracked an eye open, snapping wide awake when he saw who it was. Without any warning, Jisung surged forward, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck.

 

“Lix, Lix, Lix.” Jisung repeated over and over again, openly crying again. “Felix, you’re here.”

“Jisung… Jisung ah…” Felix whispered, a broken little sound that tore at Jisung’s heart.

“No!” Jisung exclaimed when the younger had pried his arms off of Felix’s neck. “Lix, please!”

“I’m not… I’m not pushing you away. Just…” Felix paused, cupping Jisung’s cheeks. The older’s eyes widened when he saw that the other was crying, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Jisung, where is Wonpil hyung? Tell me.” Jisung’s breath hitched. “And please don’t lie to me anymore.”

Jisung absolutely crumpled at that, pressing himself closer to Felix, bringing them as close as possible. “He’s gone, Lix. Wonpil hyung is gone.” Jisung sobbed, clutching onto Felix as he started crying.

 

Together, the two of them cried, holding onto each other even as the moon rose. Jisung couldn’t, wouldn’t let go of Felix the entire time. He clung onto the younger as if the other was his lifeline because in a lot of ways, Felix was. Opening up to Youngjae and reliving Wonpil’s memories with Youngjae was one thing but being able to share this pain with Felix was entirely different. The whole ordeal was painful, excruciating even but a part of Jisung was glad that he was sharing it with Felix.

 

_Am I selfish then? Wanting to bring my loved one pain?_

“I’m so sorry.” Felix mumbled, raising Jisung’s chin to press a gentle kiss on the older’s forehead. “I didn’t know you were bearing this all on your own. I shouldn’t have said the things I’ve said.”

Jisung’s lip wobbled again, fingers digging themselves deeper in Felix’s arms. “Lix….”

“I’m here now, baby. You don’t have to be sad alone anymore.” Felix whispered,

\--

_“I can’t believe you’re still here. Don’t you have somewhere to be? Are suns even supposed to be up always?” Changbin sighed._

_Felix mirrored back the sigh, raising a hand in greeting when he saw the other’s company. “Minho hyung, Hyunjin, nice to see you. I thought you were going to leave me in the company of Mr. Dark and Gloomy again.”_

_Hyunjin chuckled, sitting down and leaning his head on Felix’s thigh. “We’re not that mean.” He looked up, patting the rock Felix was sitting on. “You’ve claimed that rock as your own, huh?”_

_“Yeah, I guess so.” Felix mused, carding his fingers in Hyunjin’s hair. “Your hair is soft, Jinnie. Not as soft but Jisung’s but still soft.”_

_Minho came up behind Felix, pulling the sun to his chest. “Why are you still awake, Lix? You said you were going to talk to Jisung today. You should be sleeping with him.”_

_At the mention of the other sun, Felix froze, shaking his head. “I don’t want to see him right now, hyung. Please just… let me stay here.”_

_“You know we don’t mind, Lix. It’s just… what if the others see you? Suns aren’t supposed to hang out with moons, you know.” Hyunjin reminded._

_“I don’t want to hang out with suns if all they do is lie and keep things from me.” Felix answered._

_It was quiet for a few moments and Felix wondered if his outburst was too much for people he actually met just a few nights ago. He sighed, nestling deeper in Minho’s chest. He didn’t want to think about things anymore. He was very tired but he couldn’t close his eyes. Whenever he did, the image of Jisung crying would appear and he couldn’t handle it. Seungmin had been scared when Felix screamed as he was taking a nap at the lower grounds; they both had been._

_“Well, what do you want to know?” Changbin asked._

_“Shut up, Changbin. This doesn’t concern us.” Minho hissed, covering Felix’s ear._

_Felix sighed. “It’s not like you’d know anyway.” He turned to Changbin. “Well, I would like to know where Wonpil hyung went for starters.”_

_“This Wonpil hyung… was he the main sun? You know, a head full of flowers and all that stuff. The oldest sun you know, maybe?”_

_“Changbin hyung!” Hyunjin exclaimed, getting up and trying to hide Felix. “Stop it!”_

_Dread filled Felix and he pushed Hyunjin aside, jumping down from the rock. “Y-yeah… how did you know?”_

_Changbin actually seemed to pause, letting out a deep sigh. “You mentioned your Youngjae hyung having flowers on his head too, right? Full blown flowers?”_

_“Changbin, I swear to god—“ Minho muttered, pulling Felix back._

_Felix shrugged Minho off, moving closer to Changbin. “What do you know, Changbin? What is it?”_

_“Felix…” Changbin said, careful in his words. “Wonpil is gone. He passed over.”_

_“What…. No… that… no.” Felix muttered, stepping back from Changbin. “You’re lying!”_

_“Why would I lie to you? Didn’t anyone ever tell you how the suns and moons passed over?”_

_“Changbin, that’s enough!” Minho shouted._

_Felix shook his head, still not believing what he was hearing. He looked at all their faces, trying to see if what Changbin had said was true. It was all there—the way Hyunjin wouldn’t meet his gaze, the sad look Minho was giving him and the false indifferent stare Changbin had._

_Felix might have let out a cry but he didn’t have time to worry about that, already sprinting towards his-their-hut. His mind was in shambles and his heart was in pain but one pervasive thought was there._

Jisung, Jisung had been suffering about this alone all this time. How could I let this happen?

\--

Jisung’s eyes felt heavy when he woke up. Without checking, he already knew they were puffy and swollen. He sighed, rolling over, only to pause when a deep groan reached his ears. He let out a quiet gasp as he saw Felix, a slight pout on the younger’s lips as he shifted closer to Jisung.

 

“Lix…” Jisung whispered, “Are you really here?”

“I am.” Felix replied, voice scratchy and deep. Jisung gasped again when the younger slowly opened his eyes, finding himself choked up. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying, baby?”

Jisung chuckled wetly, surging forward to wrap his arms around Felix’s waist. “Who are you calling baby? You’re younger than me.”

“Mhm and who’s the one crying first thing in the morning?”

“Shut up.” Jisung said without any real heat between them. “Go back to sleep so you don’t say anything dumb.”

 

Felix chuckled, a rich, deep sound that made Jisung warm all over. The two of them just laid there until Jisung’s tears had subsided. And even when Jisung was done, Felix just held him in place, one hand lazily resting on his hips while the other was playing with Jisung’s hair. Jisung let out a contented sigh. It felt so nice to be back in Felix’s arms, to be able to smile and laugh with the younger again. Felix really was the cure to any pain Jisung could have.

 

“Baby, shouldn’t we get up? Youngjae hyung would be looking for us.” Felix reminded, voice quiet as if afraid to disrupt their peace.

“Don’t want to.” Jisung muttered. “I want to stay here with you.”

Felix chuckled. “That doesn’t sound like you, baby.”

“Quit it with the baby. You’re younger than me.” Jisung huffed, sitting up. “Plus I want to ditch this one time and you won’t join me. I can’t believe you.”

Felix laughed, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s waist. “Are you sulking, Sungie?”

“Am not!”

“You’re cute.” Felix remarked, raising himself to kiss Jisung’s cheek. “My cute sunshine.”

“Y-yah!” Jisung protested, “Ugh, whatever. You’re cuter.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things come to a head. Jisung meets the moon people and things are getting revealed

_Time heals all wounds._

It was a human saying, something that didn’t really matter for celestial beings but Jisung guessed that humans were right. Wonpil didn’t completely leave the young sun’s mind but he found himself preoccupied with more current things. And majority of those things were centered about Felix.

 

Felix had grown up beautifully, features getting even more radiant as time passed by. The younger could _just_ look at Jisung and the latter would be a stuttering, flustered mess. It didn’t help that Felix’s voice got even deeper, bordering on a growl on mornings. Jisung was already blushing and stammering before they had even gotten out of bed. Felix would just watch him with an amused smile, always one to enjoy the older sun’s pink cheeks before moving closer to kiss Jisung.

 

That had been a wonderful development. Jisung had no idea what happened but all he knew was he woke up one morning to see Felix hovering over him, lips curled into a soft smile.

 

“Lix?” Jisung had whispered, voice quiet, a little breathless. Felix was beyond beautiful in the morning light.

Felix moved closer, cupping Jisung’s cheek. “Sung, I have something to tell you.”

“W-what is it?”

“Jisung ah, I love you.” Felix declared before closing the distance between them and kissing Jisung, promptly reducing the older to a puddle.

 

Jisung had been breathless, heart hammering against his chest as light continued to filter through their room. His own declaration was quiet, words pressed against Felix’s lips but held as much emotions as Felix’s own.

 

Jisung was convinced he had never glowed as bright as he did that day.

\--

“Where did you go?” Jisung asked after getting his good morning kiss from Felix.

Felix frowned. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Lix, come on. You snuck out of bed last night. Don’t think I didn’t feel that.” Jisung mirrored the younger’s frown.

 

Jisung’s frown deepened when Felix went absolutely still. Did the younger really think that he hadn’t noticed? He moved closer to Felix, pulling on his hand to lace their fingers together, noting the small tremors going through them. Jisung didn’t understand why Felix was so nervous. What could he possibly be doing to warrant such nerves?

 

“I’ll tell you but please, don’t be mad, Sungie.” Felix finally said, looking at Jisung with wide eyes.

“That’s… you’re making me nervous, Lixie. What did you do?” Jisung asked, squeezing the younger’s hand.

Felix let out a long breath. “I meet with the moon people.”

 

Jisung gasped, pulling back from Felix as if the younger had slapped him. He couldn’t believe what the other had just told him. The moon people? The ones that were going to kill them? Why was Felix meeting with them?

 

“You’re mad.” Felix said, edging closer to Jisung.

“Of course I’m mad!” Jisung exclaimed. “Felix! What! The moon people?! Why were you meeting with them? How did you even get to meet them in the first place?!”

“It was years ago. I met them that first night that I didn’t come home to sleep and just… we became friends.” Felix explained, reaching for Jisung’s hand. “Sungie, please don’t be mad.”

“Felix, honestly, what did you expect me to feel? Did you seriously think I would be happy with that?” Jisung hissed, trying to pull his hand away. “And friends? With the moon? Are you serious?”

“Sung…” Felix sighed. “Baby, calm down.”

“Don’t baby me!” Jisung exclaimed.

 

Jisung’s anger was slowly dissipating as Felix crawled forward, pulling the older in a tight hug. The older hated it; he could never stay mad at Felix and the younger just knew it. The thought made Jisung sigh. Felix never abused that knowledge, except maybe now.

 

Jisung tried to think things through from an objective standpoint. If there was anyone capable of befriending their opposites, he supposed it would be Felix. The younger sun was just that friendly, that warm and inviting. Cold fear gripped Jisung’s heart, causing him to shiver in his lover’s hold. Felix was all that but he was also trusting, _too trusting._ What if the moon people harmed him? It wasn’t exactly a misconception; that could happen.

 

“Baby, whatever you’re thinking, it won’t happen.” Felix whispered, carding his fingers through Jisung’s hair. “They wouldn’t hurt me, Sungie. Whatever idea you have of the moon people, it’s wrong. They’re actually nice people! Changbin hyung seems standoffish at first but he’s actually really nice and sweet! Minho hyung has this calming presence and he looks out for us since we’re all younger. Hyunjinnie is playful and he likes to prank me and the hyungs from time to time. But Jinnie is really beautiful, Sung. I still like you better than him but he’s really beautiful.”

 

Jisung pulled back from Felix’s embrace to just stare at him. The younger was positively glowing after recalling his moon friends and it just made Jisung worry even more. He knew there was no way he could separate the younger from them, not when he was too attached to them, not when Felix had already called them ‘hyung’ and ‘Jinnie’. Without even having to see it firsthand, Jisung knew that those moon people made his sun happy. He wasn’t going to dampen that light, even when it worried him.

 

“Okay, fine, Lix, I won’t stop you from seeing them.” Jisung sighed when Felix lit up even more. “But I want to meet them too. I want to meet the people stealing away my nightly cuddles.”

 

Jisung barely had time to blink before he was pushed down the bed by a giggling Felix, kissing all over his face. Jisung couldn’t suppress all the giggles escaping from his own mouth, the younger’s joy too contagious.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

\--

_Jisung wondered if the fear he had felt was a premonition for whatever he was feeling right now. This fear of losing Felix was still present, still made something ache inside him. But this was losing Felix in another yet equally painful way._

_The meeting with the moon people had been tense, to say the least. Jisung could see the caution in Changbin’s eyes, the resigned look in Minho’s eyes and the curiosity in Hyunjin’s. Jisung himself was holding his breath as Felix went around with introductions. He knew why Changbin had been cautious of him; one quick look at the flowers atop Minho’s head was enough of an answer. Jisung didn’t back out from the look Changbin was giving him, waiting until the other realized what was happening. The wait was well worth it; the moment Changbin realized who he was, the other’s eyes widened before he stepped forward._

_“So you’re the sun before Felix?” Changbin said, not really asking._

_Jisung raised his chin. “And you’re the moon that I…”_

_“Enough, Bin.” Minho interrupted, nodding towards Felix who seemed clueless as to what’s happening. “Felix brought all of us here to make us friends, not…whatever you were supposed to do.”_

_“Sungie? Binnie hyung?” Felix called out, confusion evident in his tone._

_And then Changbin turned to look at Felix and Jisung’s heart froze as he caught the other’s expression. Changbin was openly staring at Felix, emotions out on display for the younger to see, eyes soft as they gazed at the younger sun. There were so many written, unspoken things in that gaze. And Jisung would know; that was how he looked every time he looked at Felix._

_The moon was in love with the sun._

_\--_

Jisung bowed out from meeting the moon people after that. He had reasoned out with Felix that he only wanted to meet them, not exactly befriend them. Felix had pouted at him but no amount of coercing was enough to make Jisung change his mind and soon enough, the younger sun had accepted that his lover didn’t want to get along with his new friends. It put a slight damper on Felix’s spirit but Jisung made up for it by hanging out with Seungmin and Jeongin, one of the clouds, as much as Felix wanted.

 

“Felix told me you’ve met the moon people.” Seungmin remarked, casually playing with the small moisture from the grass around them.

Jisung nodded, eyeing Felix and Jeongin who were running around. “Yeah. I’m guessing you’ve met them before?”

“Yeah…” Seungmin trailed off, looking at Jisung. “Did the meeting not go well?”

“N-no, uhm, Minho hyung was friendly and so was Hyunjin, to be honest.”

“Ah.” Seungmin nodded once. “You noticed Changbin hyung and his…”

“Feelings for my Felix? Yes, I did.” Jisung sighed. “If you’ve noticed it as well, I guess it’s really obvious huh.”

The water nymph rolled his eyes. “It’s only Felix that doesn’t know. No offense but he isn’t really that sharp when it comes to things like that.”

“Can I… Can I confess something, Minnie?”

Seungmin nodded, eyes softening as they took in Jisung’s expression. “Of course, Sungie. What is it?”

Jisung took a deep breath before returning Seungmin’s gaze. “I’m actually relieved that Felix doesn’t seem to know about Changbin’s feelings. I’m just… I’m just so scared, Seungmin ah. What if he realizes that he likes Changbin more than me? What if he leaves me for the moon? I don’t know if I can take that. I’d rather have Lix be dense than the alternative. Does that make me selfish, Seungmin ah?”

 

The sun watched as various emotions played out on Seungmin’s face. He couldn’t blame the other; he knew that what he said was a little hard to understand, especially for someone who didn’t know how delicate the relationship of a moon and sun could be. Jisung wasn’t sure if he could volunteer that information to Seungmin; he hadn’t even told Felix about it yet.

“I don’t think it makes you selfish, Jisung,” Seungmin finally spoke up after a few moments of silence. His brows furrowed. “Or maybe you are. I don’t really know but what I’m saying is what you’re feeling is understandable. You love Felix. Of course, you don’t want to lose him. I don’t know how it feels to love romantically but I do know that I wouldn’t want to lose Jeonginnie or Lixie or you.”

“Aww, Seungmin, you do love us!” Jisung squealed, tackling the nymph in a hug. He laughed when Seungmin groaned, trying to push him off. “Thanks, Minnie.” Jisung said in a softer tone. “I really needed to hear that.”

Seungmin huffed but stopped trying to push Jisung away. “Yeah, whatever, you big ball.”

 

Jisung grinned at him, sitting up and pulling the nymph along. The smile on his lips fell when he saw Youngjae approaching, a glum look on his face. Gently pulling himself away from Seungmin, Jisung stood up, wary of the eyes he felt following him. Youngjae tried to smile when he saw Jisung approach but it was more like a grimace.

 

“Hi, Sungie.” Youngjae greeted. “What are you and Felix up to today?”

“Just hanging out with Seungmin and Jeongin.” Jisung vaguely gestured to the nymph. “What’s wrong, hyung?”

Youngjae sighed, ruffling Jisung’s hair. “It’s that time again. I can’t believe I’m living this long.”

 

Jisung froze at the implications of Youngjae’s words. It was _that_ time again and any other time, Jisung would have felt bad about what was going to happen but things were a little different this time. He had actually met the moon in question. Dread spread across the young sun’s body as he recalled the gentle smile on Minho’s face, the quiet way he looked after Changbin and Hyunjin, and even Felix.

 

“Jisung?” Youngjae said, peering at the younger’s face. “What’s wrong? You look pale.”

“I…” Jisung swallowed thickly. “I feel sick, I think.”

The older frowned, nodding as he called Felix over. “Nothing a little dose of Felix couldn’t fix, right?” He turned to the freckled boy when he came. “Lix, Jisung’s feeling a little under the weather. Make sure to take good care of him, okay?”

 

Jisung could sob at the way Felix all but pushed Youngjae out of the way, crowding into Jisung’s personal space, cupping both of his cheeks and making them look at his eyes. Worry didn’t suit Felix, not that he looked ugly but happiness had always suited the younger more. Jisung hated how he was playing it up, feigning a fake smile and letting more of his weight fall in Felix’s hold. This, this was lying to Felix and Jisung was fully aware of what he was doing, He hated it but what choice did he have?

 

Seungmin gave them funny looks as they bid the two goodbye and Jisung tried to look apologetic but he didn’t really care if the nymph saw. All that mattered was keeping Felix by his side. Jisung continuously acted like he was in pain, clinging onto the younger and making whining sounds. The furrow in Felix’s eyebrows got more and more prominent as he desperately looked for a way to make Jisung feel better.

 

“Sung ah, are you okay now?” Felix asked, voice as quiet as their surroundings. It was nearing night now and it felt like nature was holding its breath for what was about to happen.

Jisung nodded, looking up from where he was nestled against Felix’s chest. “I’m better now. Why?”

Felix smiled down at him, a guilty look in his eyes. “I wanted to visit Minho hyung and the others tonight. Minho hyung looked sad the last time we met and I wanted to cheer him up.”

 

Jisung shook his head, sitting up quickly and straddling the younger. He couldn’t let Felix go out tonight, not tonight. He scrambled for a reason to keep the younger here until he realized their compromising position.

 

“Uh, Jisung?” Felix called out, voice a little breathless.

“Stay with me.” Jisung replied, commanding tone surprising even himself. “I want you to be mine tonight, Felix.”

“But… Minho hyung…”

Jisung bent down, kissing the younger sweetly. He relished in the soft groans escaping the younger’s mouth. “What was that again, love?” He whispered, barely a hairsbreadth away from Felix’s lips.

“S-shut up.”

\--

_The next time Felix was able to leave Jisung’s side at night, everything was still. The night was too quiet and the young sun couldn’t help but shiver as he made his way to the small pond that had become his meeting place with the moons._

_“Changbin hyung, you got your flowers!” Felix exclaimed in lieu of a greeting, running the last few meters. ”They’re so beautiful, hyungie.”_

_“They better be. I paid a high price to get them.” Changbin replied gruffly, tipping his head back a bit to look at the flowers on top of them. “Stupid flowers.”_

_Felix giggled, used to the way Changbin was grumpy. “Well, I think they’re very beautiful.” He glanced around, frowning at the emptiness. “Where are Minho hyung and Jinnie?”_

_The words made Changbin double take, eyes hard as he turned to Felix. The look made Felix swallow in fear; he had never seen Changbin looked as mad as he did at that moment. Jisung’s words about the moon people being dangerous came to mind but Felix knew that Changbin wouldn’t act like this without a reason._

_“Are you that cruel to ask that, Felix? Where do you think Minho hyung went? Why the fuck would you ask that question?!” Changbin exclaimed, voice rising as he moved closer to Felix._

_“What do you mean?” Felix asked in confusion, placing his hands on Changbin’s arms in an attempt to calm him down. “Hyung, I have no idea what you’re talking about!”_

_“Don’t play dumb with me! Why do you think Hyunjin isn’t here? He couldn’t even bear to see you right now! I don’t even know what I’m doing here!”_

_Felix frowned, gripping Changbin harder. “Hyung, what do you mean? I honestly have no idea what you’re saying! What did I do?! Why is Jinnie mad at me?!”_

_“What the fuck are you trying to…” Changbin paused, looking intensely at Felix. The younger had no idea what the moon saw but it had him chuckling, albeit without humor. “You seriously don’t know, do you?”_

_“That’s what I’ve been trying to say, hyung!” Felix pouted. “Jeez, you don’t listen at all!”_

_Changbin huffed, relaxing his stance before slumping down by the rock that Hyunjin had taken to calling Felix’s rock. “I just can’t believe that you don’t know.” He explained, tugging on the younger’s hand. “Come sit beside me.”_

_Felix sighed, carefully sitting down beside the moon. He eyed their still connected hands and wondered what was wrong. Changbin wasn’t one for skinship and the fact that he was initiating it right now could only mean that he needed comfort. Felix was just about to ask his question when Changbin suddenly turned to him, burying his face in the crook of Felix’s neck as his grip tightened around Felix’s hand._

_“H-hyung?” Felix asked worriedly._

_“J-just… let me cry for a bit. Please.” Changbin pleaded, voice a little muffled. “Minho hyung… he’s gone now. He passed over.”_

_Felix gasped at the words but forced himself to remain quiet and instead focused on comforting Changbin. He carefully wrapped an arm around the moon’s shoulder, frowning when that just made Changbin cry even harder. The more Changbin cried, the heavier Felix’s heart felt but he knew it was nothing compared to how Hyunjin and Changbin were feeling. He let out a shaky breath, allowing a single tear to escape as he pressed a kiss on Changbin’s forehead._

_“I’m so sorry, hyung.” Felix whispred._

_\--_

Jisung yawned, stretching on the bed, a little surprised to find Felix beside him. The younger had slipped out last night just when Jisung had been on the verge of sleep. In his drowsy state, Jisung didn’t even get to worry about what would happen when Felix met with the other moons.

 

“Lix?” Jisung said quietly.

“Hey, baby.” Felix greeted, rolling over to his side.

“You look tired, love.” Jisung commented, cupping the younger’s cheek. “Did you sleep at all?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Kept hearing Changbin hyung crying.” Jisung’s hand froze, waiting with a bated breath as the younger continued. “He said Minho hyung is gone. And I guess he couldn’t cry in front of Hyunjin. He likes to pretend like he’s tough.”

 

_But he could cry in front of you?_

Jisung wanted to ask but he simply nodded, knowing that this wasn’t the time for that. Instead, he pulled the younger in his arms, sighing as he heard Felix start to cry. Felix didn’t even spend that much time with Minho, all things considering, but the way he was crying was heartbreaking.

 

_How would he be when it’s my turn?_

“I’m fine now.” Felix rasped out after a short while.

Jisung sat up carefully, eyeing the younger in concern. “You should sleep though. I know crying makes you even more tired too.”

“I’m fine.” Felix repeated, eyes widening as he looked at Jisung. “Sungie! Look! Your flowers are starting to grow!”

“What?!” Jisung gasped, carefully raising a hand to feel around his head. He let out another gasp when he felt something soft under his touch.

Felix giggled, sitting up as well. “You’re so cute, baby.” He leaned forward, kissing Jisung’s forehead. “You always knew how to make me smile, Sungie. Thanks, I love you.”

“Wha-Yah!” Jisung exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. “How could you say that so easily?!”

“Because it’s so easy to love you?” Felix asked, inclining his head to the side. “What’s difficult about it?”

Jisung groaned again, putting his hands down. “You’re going to make me combust by how much I’m blushing, Lix!”

“You’re so weird.” Felix said, lacing their hands together. “You’re lucky I love you anyway.”

“Not half as I love you.” Jisung promised, bringing their hands up to his lips. “I love you so much, sunshine. You have no idea.”

“I think I have a little clue.” Felix replied, cupping Jisung’s cheek before closing the distance between them.

\--

_“You have a sunflower in the middle of your head.” Seungmin remarked in a deadpan tone, eyeing the flower in question. “Why is it right in the middle of your head?”_

_Jisung chuckled. “Sunflowers are usually the first flowers that suns get! It is a flower named after us after all!”_

_“Yes, but why is it in the middle of your hair? Like, I can’t look at you without staring at it.”_

_“Yah, don’t stare at my flower! You’re making it shy!” Jisung huffed._

_“It isn’t even facing me.” Seungmin retorted. “It’s facing Felix.”_

_Jisung relaxed, glancing at Felix who, despite his earlier protests, was taking a nap in the middle of the meadow. Even asleep, the younger was subtly glowing and Jisung could practically feel his flower grow as he took in Felix’s appearance._

_“Well, it’s just like me, isn’t it? I always look at my personal sun too.” Jisung said softly, pointedly ignoring Seungmin’s groan._

_\--_

Felix had been very excited about the flowers growing on Jisung’s head, constantly staring at them, carefully touching the budding blossoms. It reflected how gentle and caring Felix was to Jisung and the older felt his love grew along with the flowers on his head. His mood dampened considerably after seeing Youngjae’s reaction to them but the look of dread didn’t last long on the older sun’s face. Jisung was grateful for that and even more grateful once he and Youngjae talked about what it meant for the future.

 

“I’m actually relieved they’re growing now, Sung. I don’t think I can handle being the sun longer.” Youngjae remarked, tone light and sincere.

Jisung smiled. “You have been the sun for a long time now.” He paused. “But what about…?”

“My passing? What about it? It happens to everyone and I’m not sad about it at all. I already saw you and Lix grow up. I don’t think I have much more to live for.” Youngjae replied easily. “So, don’t worry about me, okay? Nothing would literally make me happier.”

 

So Jisung had pushed it at the back of his mind, focusing on how much lovelier Felix had gotten. The younger barely separated from him even during their escapades with Seungmin and Jeongin. The nightly trips had stopped as well. It was like the flowers had become a string that always pulled Felix back.

 

“This one is really pretty.” Felix pointed to the flower by Jisung’s ear. “Its red color makes it stand out even more.”

Jisung grinned, knowing which one Felix was talking about. “This, my love, is called a ranunculus.” He easily plucked the flower, handing it to the younger.

“I’ll stick with calling it the pretty red flower.” Felix chuckled, putting it on the shell of his ear. “Do you know what it means?”

“You’re charming.” Jisung said sincerely, smiling when the younger ducked his head with a pretty blush. “That’s what the flower means. I don’t get why you’re blushing.”

“I just…” Felix stammered, covering his face. “Never mind!”

Jisung laughed. “I really can’t understand you sometimes.” He leaned forward, tugging on Felix’s hand. “Lix, love, come on, look at me.” It took some more coaxing but eventually, Jisung got the hands down, smiling when he saw how the blush had spread on the younger’s face. “You’re so cute. You’re putting the flower to shame.”

“Oh my god.” Felix groaned. “Stop it,”

Jisung grinned. “But I love making you blush.” He leaned forward, almost climbing into Felix’s lap. “The flower actually means ‘I am charmed’ more. And that’s what I am. I am charmed, charmed by you.”

“Jisung…” Felix murmured.

The older sun gestured to the various flowers growing on his head. “All of them always keep looking for you, not just my sunflowers. I think all my love is feeding them, actually.”

“But they’re so beautiful..”

“The object of my affection is beautiful too.” Jisung replied, squeaking when Felix suddenly pushed him down, burying his face in the older’s chest. “Are you getting shy on me, love?”

 

Jisung could only laugh when the younger groaned, pushing himself closer to Jisung. There was so much happiness, warmth and love in Jisung’s chest that he felt like bursting. He wanted to stay like this forever.

\--

_“Hyung, hyung!”_

_Changbin turned to the source of the voice, almost convinced that he had imagined it but lo and behold, it really was Felix. The sun was running across the pasture in sure, swift steps. The moon light was lighting him, covering him in a soft glow; maybe it was because this was Felix and the moon was Changbin and Felix was always beautiful for Changbin. A part of him wondered how beautiful the younger would be in his element, in the morning light. Maybe those freckles would stand out more? Maybe the sheen of his orange hair would be even brighter? Maybe Changbin could find out if the sun could rival Felix’s smile._

_Changbin tried to push down the thought that soon, he would have the chance to see. The next passing was upon them and Changbin was torn whether to tell Felix what’s about to happen._

_“Lixie!” Hyunjin exclaimed, snapping Changbin out of his thoughts. “Little sun, I missed you!”_

_Changbin watched as the two hugged, Hyunjin even going as far as to spin the other around. “Okay, okay. You’re going to drop him.” Changbin cut in._

_“I wasn’t!” Hyunjin protested. “I just missed him! Why did you suddenly disappear, Lix?” He asked with a pout._

_Changbin waited, pretending nonchalance but he was curious too. He had missed Felix as well but he just didn’t say anything. Not that it mattered. His silence was more than enough words._

_“Jisung just got his flowers and I didn’t want to leave his side as they grew.” Felix admitted with a sheepish smile. “I’m really sorry! I missed you too, Jinnie.” He turned to Changbin. The moon drew shadows across the younger’s features, making him even more handsome, if that was possible. Changbin’s breath felt stuck in his throat. “And I missed you too, Changbin hyung.”_

_Changbin swallowed thickly. “Y-yeah, missed you too, Lix.”_

_Felix chuckled. “You love me. Don’t deny it.”_

_Changbin froze but he knew that the younger was joking. He could only huff as the sun approached him. He knew what Felix was going to do and he already stooped lower, bending his head towards Felix’s hand._

_“Hyung, it closed!” Felix gasped. “Did I do something wrong?”_

_Changbin peered up. “Ah. No, you idiot.” He chuckled. “Those are moon flowers. Guess you can say that they’re our sunflowers.”_

_“That doesn’t explain why it closed! Did I kill it?!”_

_Changbin smiled, taking Felix’s hand comfortingly. “No, Lix, you didn’t kill it. They just naturally close when sunlight touches their petals.”_

_“B-but… I’m not that bright.”_

_“You’re positively glowing, Lix.” Changbin replied, a little too fast. He coughed when Felix stared at him. “Anyway, yeah, they’re moon flowers. Uh,Felix, I wanted to say something. It’s not exactly pleasant but I know you don’t like being out of the loop so I’ll tell you beforehand.”_

_“Hyung, Minho hyung said don’t meddle.” Hyunjin cut off, a glare in his eyes as he stared Changbin down._

_“Hyung isn’t here anymore.” Changbin said sharply. His features softened when Hyunjin frowned. “Besides…” He continued in a gentler tone. “Felix has the right to know. The sun is his friend.”_

_“The sun? Youngjae hyung?” Felix asked. “What’s going to happen to him?”_

_“Before I say it, please know that this is natural. It’s how life has always been for our people. If I had a choice, then I…” Changbin paused, looking at Felix’s eyes. He took a deep breath, praying that the younger wouldn’t hate him for what he’s about to say next. “He’s going to pass over soon.” He winced when Felix gasped. “And I’ll be the one to do it.”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Felix finally knows things and things make a drastic turn for him, Changbin and Jisung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is already the second to the last chapter :(( i can't believe i keep dragging this on. if you're still reading this, then thank youu ^-^
> 
> warning: character death(s) in this chapter.

_Felix was aware that he didn’t know a lot of things. Jisung had always been the smarter one between the two of them and mostly, it didn’t bother him. In fact, a part of him even liked the fact that Jisung was looking out for him. But as time passed by, he was starting to resent it. It felt like he knew absolutely nothing. Youngjae wasn’t like Wonpil; their teaching styles were completely different. While Jisung learned their history, Felix learned about their surroundings. He knew about all the creatures in the pasture and even in the lower grounds. And at the time, Felix really didn’t mind. He liked meeting new people, liked talking with them and learning about how they different they could be._

_But still, a little insight about his future would be nice._

_Felix didn’t leave after Changbin’s confession and he smiled as he saw the blatant relief in the older’s eyes when he remained where he was. Though he was still there physically, his mind was all around the place. He thought back to the first time Changbin had explained was ‘passing over’ meant and how he had cried upon knowing that Wonpil wasn’t coming back anymore. But at the same time, he remembered the anger he felt knowing that he was the only one that didn’t know. Jisung obviously knew; Changbin and the others had guessed it fairly quickly too._

_So, why didn’t he know anything?_

_Felix repeated the same questions in his head over and over again but he still couldn’t come up with an answer. Hyunjin and Changbin had given up on trying to converse with him; instead, the two had just settled around him quietly, their presence a solid reassurance that Felix didn’t know he needed._

_“Hey, am I dumb?” Felix asked, halting the conversation the two moons had._

_“Yeah, you are. Remember that time… Ow!” Hyunjin groaned, clutching his side. “Hyung!” He exclaimed, glaring at Changbin._

_“You’re not dumb, sunshine. Why are you asking that?” Changbin said, tilting his head at Felix._

_“No one ever tells me anything. Does Jisung think I’m not worthy of knowing? Did Wonpil hyung think the same? Even Minho hyung?”_

_Hyunjin sighed, walking closer to wrap his arms around the young sun. “Lix, you’re not dumb. Don’t think like that.”_

_“Then, why?” Felix mumbled, burying his face in Hyunjin’s chest._

_“They don’t want to make you sad, sunshine.” Changbin said. Felix raised his head, looking at the moon with surprise. He had never heard the other speak this gently to anyone. “Lix, you are literally a ball of sunshine. You bring happiness to everyone and anyone around you. You didn’t even care that we were the moon people when we first met. You just saw me bullying Hyunjin and you ran to us and told me to stop. You’re such an angel, sunshine.” The moon paused again, patting Felix’s head. “And that’s why it’s hard to tell you everything, Felix. Everyone would do anything just to keep you smiling. I mean, I know I would. I know it’s wrong to keep you in the dark so I told you. But please know that it’s breaking my heart to see you this sad right now.”_

_Felix blinked long and slow, feeling heat rise up to his cheeks at hearing those words. He had no idea why he was starting to blush but he returned Changbin’s words with a small nod. It didn’t seem like the older was waiting for a reply to his speech and had just settled on ruffling Felix’s hair before announcing that it was almost daybreak._

_“You gonna be okay?” Changbin asked after Felix had wished Hyunjin good night. “I’m really sorry to drop that on you.”_

_“I think I’m actually better off knowing, hyung so don’t apologize.” Felix sighed. “Is it… is it gonna be anytime soon?”_

_“The day after tomorrow.”_

_“Oh. Uh, that’s fast.”_

_Changbin sighed, pushing Felix’s hair aside. “I’m really sorry, Lix. I, uh, actually planned on coming to see you that day. C-can I?”_

_Felix’s gaze softened, eyeing Changbin who looked like he was moments from crying again. “Of course, hyung. You know where I live. Find me then.”_

_“Thank you, sunshine.”_

\--

Jisung felt a shiver pass through his body, rousing him from his sleep. Felix’s side of the bed was still empty and he frowned at the vacant space. His eyes flew to the door once he heard it open, relief and warmth flooding his body when he saw that it was the younger. Felix jumped when he saw Jisung sitting up, no doubt surprised that the older was awake.

 

“Come here.” Jisung whispered quietly, opening his arms wide for the younger to come into.

Felix smiled, quickly crossing the room and climbing the bed. “Hey.” He whispered, burying his face in Jisung’s neck. “Why are you up already?”

“Missed you.” Jisung said and it wasn’t even a lie. The bed was always colder without the younger to hold him. “Do you always get home this late? No wonder you’re so tired in the mornings.”

Felix hummed, pulling Jisung down back on the bed. “Yeah, it’s why Minho hyung made me promise not to visit them consecutively. I get too tired.” The younger yawned, nuzzling closer to the other. “Can we sleep in, Sung? I want to sleep but I want to be with you, too.”

Jisung smiled widely, fixing the blanket on top of the younger. “Anything you want, Lix.”

“Don’t make any promises you can’t keep.”

“Hm? What was that, love?” Jisung prompted, unsure if he heard it right.

“Nothing.” Felix mumbled, kissing Jisung’s neck. “Night, Sungie. Love you.”

“Yah, I asked you something.” Jisung huffed, slightly shaking the younger. “Yah, Felix.” He sighed when the other just moved closer to him. “Fine, whatever. Love you too.”

 

Jisung hummed under his breath as he let his fingers pass through Felix’s hair. The younger had constantly stayed by his side as his flowers grew; last night had been the first time he had met up with Changbin and Hyunjin in a while so he could understand why Felix stayed up that late. Still, there was the lingering jealousy that he could feel.

“Why are you so lovable?” Jisung whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of Felix’s head. “Stop it. You’re mine only.”

 

Felix only scrunched up his nose, nuzzling closer. Jisung smiled, wrapping his arms around tighter than the other.

 

“Don’t leave me for Changbin, okay, Lix? Please.”

 

The next time Jisung woke up, the sun was already high up in the sky and there was something tickling his nose. He groaned, gently pushing Felix’s shoulder away, rubbing his nose with his free hand. He blinked his eyes open, squinting at the thing swaying around in front of his vision. He blinked once, twice again as his vision adjusted, gasping as he saw what the thing was.

 

“Lix, Lix, wake up! You got your first flower!” Jisung exclaimed, sitting up quickly and shaking the younger awake.

“Hm? What?” Felix croaked out, yawning as he sat up. “My what?”

 

Jisung had to hold back a gasp as he stared at his lover. Sunlight was flooding their room, bringing out Felix’s freckles even more. The yellow color of the sunflower contrasted beautifully with the younger’s orange hair and Jisung could see tendrils entangled between the orange locks, small yellow buds peeking out of them.

 

Felix looked absolutely beautiful.

 

“Ji, I can feel my sunflower! Wow, it wasn’t there when I went to sleep!” Felix exclaimed excitedly, carefully patting the flower atop his head. “Was it like this when your flower bloomed? Wow, it’s so soft! Yah, Jisungie, are you listening?!”

“I am. Don’t pout, love.” Jisung said softly, cupping Felix’s cheek. “You’re just beautiful is all. Knocked me speechless.”

 

Jisung grinned when a flood of pink colored Felix’s cheeks and he carefully leaned forward, pressing their lips together tenderly and smiling against the younger’s lips as he got pulled closer.

 

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

\--

Seungmin and Jeongin were visiting them when darkness enveloped the skies. Jisung could feel himself freeze as a silent tear made its way down his cheek. He knew what the darkness meant. To his surprise, Felix wrapped him in a hug, rubbing his back comfortingly as his eyes stayed out on the window.

 

“Why was it dark then bright again?” Jeongin asked once the skies cleared out. “I know it wasn’t from us.”

Jisung was about to bluff through an explanation when he heard a deep voice outside their door. “Felix? Are you there?”

“Hyung.” Felix breathed out, quickly crossing the room and opening the door.

 

Jisung’s heart gave a painful squeeze as he saw Changbin walk in and Felix immediately moved to wrap the moon in a hug. The older sun could just see how the moon melted against his lover’s hold and his hands curled into fists without his control. Seungmin might have sensed his distress, throwing an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his forearm comfortingly.

 

“Changbin hyung, hi? Why are you here?” Jeongin asked, breaking the silence that had settled in the room.

“Just… had to take care of something, Innie.” Changbin replied tersely, pulling away from Felix’s hug. Jisung could see his hands shaking before he hid them behind his back.

“Hyung, you look tired.” Felix stated, tugging on Changbin’s wrist. “Why don’t you sleep here for a bit? You’re not used to staying up past your bed time.”

“Felix…” Jisung hissed, unable to hide his discomfort. This was his home with Felix and the thought of Changbin staying here longer than necessary didn’t strike him as a good idea.

Changbin turned to face Jisung, looking at the flowers on his head before nodding. “It’s fine, Lix. I can go home instead. Besides, everything’s too bright here.” He looked back at Felix, squinting at something.

“Okay, if you say so.” Felix paused. “Hm? Oh! Yeah, I got my first flower, hyung!”

“Yeah, I can see. It’s pretty.”

 

Jisung had to bite on his lip as he looked away. Changbin was staring at Felix in the same way he had looked just yesterday. The look of love was so obvious in the moon’s face; how did Felix not notice it?

 

“I like Jisung’s flowers more.” Felix responded, turning to Jisung with a small smile. “Are you sure you can go home, hyung? You still look shaken up.”

“Innie and I will walk hyung home, Felix.” Seungmin said, removing himself from Jisung’s side. “You just stay here. Don’t worry about a thing, okay?”

 

For a second, it looked like Changbin was about to protest before his eyes fell on Jisung again and bowed slightly, an apologetic look on his face. Jisung wondered what that look meant. ‘I’m sorry. I know Felix is yours but I still have to try?’ or what if it was ‘I’m stealing him from you now. Sorry about that?’ Either way, Jisung was tense until Seungmin and Jeongin led Changbin out. He only relaxed when Felix walked over to him, hands finding their hold on Jisung’s hips.

 

“Sung?” Felix asked tentatively. “You okay, baby?”

“Felix, he’s in love with you.” Jisung blurted out, holding onto Felix’s arms. “Changbin’s so in love with you.”

 

Jisung bit his lip as the younger froze under his touch. Pulling back slightly, he watched as a myriad of emotions passed by Felix’s face, lingering on confusion. He would have found the younger’s reaction hilarious if the circumstances were different but as it was, Jisung wondered if he had overstepped his boundaries.

“O-oh.” Felix muttered, confusion still evident on his face as he looked back at Jisung. “I-I didn’t know.”

“Seungmin did say you were dumb at things like that.” Jisung cupped Felix’s cheek. “D-does this change how you feel? About me?”

Felix tilted his head, brows furrowed before he frowned. “Jisung, are you asking me if I’m going to leave you because of Changbin hyung?” Jisung swallowed nervously, just staring up at the younger, unable to respond on his own. “You’re unbelievable.” Felix sighed in exasperation. “Do you really think that little of my love, Sungie?”

“O-of course not!” Jisung responded, shaking his head furiously. “It’s just…. He loves you so much, Lix. I can see it in the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you’re the only thing he sees.”

“And you don’t?” Felix questioned, startling Jisung. “Are you saying hyung loves me more than you do?”

“No, I love you more!”

“Then, don’t say things like that. You sound like you’re giving me up, Sungie.”

“I would never! I’m just worried that you might leave me. He loves you so much, Lix. I can see that he’s special to you too.”

Felix sighed, pulling Jisung to their bedroom and gently pushing the latter down on the bed. Gently, he plucked one of Jisung’s sunflowers, handing it to the older. “Seungmin asked you before why your sunflower always faced me and you said that it’s like you, that it likes looking at your personal sunshine.” Jisung blushed, wondering when Seungmin had shared that with Felix. “Well, I’m the same, baby.” Felix grinned. “I only look at you. Maybe that’s why I didn’t see Changbin hyung’s feelings. Jisung ah, I love you and you alone. Please don’t worry about my heart changing.”

 

Jisung couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, pulling the younger down to hug him. Rolling them over quickly, he buried his face in Felix’s chest. Relief and joy flooded his entire body as he clung to the man he loved with his entire heart. Hearing the words out loud soothed Jisung’s worries. Felix was aware of Changbin’s feelings and he still chose him. He wasn’t going to lose Felix.

 

“Thank you. I love you so much, Lixie.” Jisung said, words almost incoherent as he cried.

Felix shushed him, kissing his neck. “I love you so much too Sungie. Don’t thank me. It’s an honor to love you.” He chuckled when that made Jisung cry even more. “This baby….” He rubbed Jisung’s back. “Stop crying, baby. I don’t like it when you cry.”

“I don’t like crying too.” Jisung replied, sniffling as he raised his head. “Why do you make me feel so many things huh? Who gave you the right?”

“You did because you chose to love me.” Felix replied, tapping Jisung’s nose. “It’s okay. I’ll repay it in kind.”

“And how are you supposed to do that?”

“By being with you forever.” Felix said sincerely, eyes inexplicably soft as they gazed Jisung.

 

Jisung’s heart gave another painful lurch and this time for a completely different reason.

\--

_“You’re quiet again, hyung.” Hyunjin whispered as he approached Changbin._

_Changbin shrugged, looking at his reflection at the pool, seeing a completely different face. He could remember the way the morning light made Felix glow, skin almost turning gold in the warm light, freckles even more prominent. How fitting was the small sunflower on his head. Felix with flowers was a different kind of beautiful. If Changbin could have his way, he would have stayed longer. He didn’t even care that he had just ‘killed’ Youngjae. All thoughts were erased once he saw Felix._

_“Hyung? Is this about what happened? You know that cycles are like that. And Felix said that Youngjae had been the sun for a long time. Don’t feel sad about it.” Hyunjin said, misinterpreting Changbin’s silence._

_“I’m not bothered by that, Jin.” Changbin said, surprising himself at how genuine it was. “I was thinking about Felix.”_

_“Of course you were.” Hyunjin scoffed. “When were you not?” He waved off Changbin’s protests. “So, how was it? How was seeing our little sun in his habitat?”_

_“Beautiful beyond compare, Hyunjin.” Changbin said, rolling his eyes when Hyunjin snorted. “I mean it! Felix was glowing gold in the sun! He’s starting to get his flowers too. I’m telling you. Felix is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on.”_

_“Hyung…” Hyunjin sighed deeply, a troubled frown on his lips. “If he’s starting to get flowers, doesn’t that mean bad news for you? And Jisung for that matter.”_

_Jisung. Changbin sighed, closing his eyes as he remembered the hurt look on the other’s face that morning. Changbin wasn’t even really doing anything but Jisung had already looked like he was in so much pain. Changbin wondered if he would look like that had the situations been reversed. He knew without a doubt that Jisung knew about his feelings for Felix; he had always been obvious according to Hyunjin. What if Jisung told Felix?_

_“Hey, do you think I should confess to Lix?” Changbin asked._

_Hyunjin’s eyes widened, obviously not expecting the question. “Uh, that’s uhm…” He paused staring at Changbin. “What brought this on?”_

_“You said so yourself. Lix getting his flowers could mean bad news, both for me and Jisung. It’s either me or him.” Changbin scoffed. “Isn’t it unfair? We’re never really sure who’s going next. We just know what it has to be one of us.”_

_“Would… would you make Felix choose, hyung? Between you and Jisung?”_

_Changbin snorted. “Idiot. You only ask someone to choose if there’s an equal chance between the two options. I don’t stand a chance.”_

\--

Felix had asked Jisung if he wanted to stop the younger’s visits with Hyunjin and Changbin. It didn’t help that the younger sun was serious as he asked; Jisung had no doubt that if he said yes, he wanted Felix to stay away then the younger would follow with what he wanted. And Jisung would have accepted the proposal if the image of Changbin shaking didn’t pop in his head. Jisung knew what happened that day and why Changbin had been up and about in broad daylight. He couldn’t forget the way Changbin melted against his Felix, the way the tension immediately left the moon as the younger engulfed him in a hug.

 

_Could I really take that away from someone?_

So Jisung had sucked it up and allowed Felix to continue with his visits. No words needed to be said for the younger to express how grateful he was for Jisung’s decision. It wasn’t a decision that Jisung regretted either; his fear had disappeared when Felix came back and admitted to turning Changbin down. Jisung had to admit that the moon was brave for doing that and he found himself having some sort of respect for the other.

 

“Here you go, baby.” Felix said, handing Jisung a flower from the quickly growing flowers atop his head. “I know you like listening to Wonpil hyung and his lessons about flowers so you know what this means.”

Jisung grinned, taking the yellow zinnia from the younger’s hand. “Remembrance?”

“That. Also, affection and constancy.” Felix smiled, small and intimate. “Thank you for always being by my side, Sungie. I love you, my sun.”

“As I love you.” Jisung replied, a little breathless, heart a little too full.

 

_Please remember this moment when I finish what has to be done._

 

\--

The moon temple was beautiful. Jisung had to bite back a gasp as he crossed the small garden, eyeing the temple in wonder. The temple was made from marble and obsidian; the place was beautiful but cold. Jisung didn’t want to stay here longer than necessary.

 

Walking inside, Jisung shivered as the temperature dropped even more. He barely suppressed a sigh of relief when he saw the lightened part of the temple.

 

_Changbin._

The moon was already seated on the dais, face turned up to the sky, as if waiting for his punishment. Maybe the comparison wasn’t that far off.

 

Jisung approached the other slowly but he knew that caution wasn’t necessary. The older had already felt his presence; the tension in Changbin’s shoulder was a telltale sign.

 

“Changbin.” Jisung murmured.

“Hyung. I’m pretty sure I’m older than you brats.” Changbin replied with false cheer. “Let’s get this over with. You look like you’re about to fall asleep soon.”

 

Jisung thought that he had hidden his lethargy quite well but apparently not. Suns weren’t supposed to be up at this time but the ceremony had to be done at the right time so Jisung had to wait.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know how Felix does it.” Jisung said, almost absentmindedly.

Changbin’s face contorted before he jumped off the dais. “What did you tell him about tonight?”

“I slipped out after he slept.”

The moon sighed. “You’re still lying to Felix after everything? Don’t you learn?”

Jisung clenched his fists. “I love him! I’m just trying to protect him.”

“Didn’t you and Lix already get into a fight because of your so called ‘protection’? When will you realize that Felix isn’t a kid anymore? He’s the next sun after you, Jisung. He should know what he’s going to be doing. “

 

Jisung was shaking with anger and he stomped to Changbin, placing his arms around the moon’s shoulder, the chant already at the tip of his tongue.

 

_Changbin was smiling._

Jisung paused, looking at the moon before him. Why was Changbin smiling? The sun pulled back, observing the other. In this light, Changbin’s features were partly in the shadows, throwing a different kind of light on his face.

 

_Changbin hyung is handsome._

“Why are you trying to make me angry?” Jisung asked.

“To make it easier.” Changbin whispered. “Or do you not need it? I imagine… uh, finishing someone pining after you lover isn’t exactly the hardest thing to do.”

 

Jisung stopped to think about it, recounting the times that Felix had spent with Changbin. Those times when Jisung had been worried because he didn’t know where Felix went and the times he worried because he knew exactly where Felix was. The stories that Felix shared about the moon people; there were some about Hyunjin and Minho but they were mostly about Changbin. When Felix had told Jisung shyly about Changbin’s confession the way Jisung’s heart stopped because _what if?_ Only to be appeased by Felix’s confession of guilt, of still choosing Jisung over the other.

 

“No…” Jisung started. “I would rather have you by Lix’s side. Not that I would choose it but if that was what he wanted, then I wouldn’t go against it.”

Changbin’s features softened, eyes even getting watery but Jisung didn’t comment. He merely watched as Changbin plucked a flower, the last flower, Jisung noted with surprise, from his head and handed it to Jisung. “Please give this to Jjix.” Changbin whispered. “Thank him for the memories.”

Jisung took the evening primrose, placing it on the dais with great care. “Do you… do you wish it was him instead of me?”

“God, no.” Changbin answered quickly. “I don’t want this to be our last memory together.”

“But he’ll be the last thing you’ll see.”

Changbin shook his head, letting out a sigh as he placed Jisung’s hands on his shoulders. “I want him to remember me smiling and calling him an idiot.” The moon paused, lowering his head before whispering, “I’m ready.”

 

Jisung’s voice was calm and even as he chanted the verse, keeping his eyes fixed on the flower instead of watching Changbin. He’d like to think that the other would want some privacy. Jisung didn’t waver even when he started glowing, even as Changbin’s body became more and more transparent.

 Until there was nothing there. Just Jisung and Changbin’s final words.

 

_Tell Felix he’d make a beautiful sun._

 

         

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was time for the end.

Jisung wished he was surprised to see Felix awake, sitting up on their bed when he returned from the moon temple. The flower was still in his grip and it felt like a spotlight on him as he crossed the room to their bed. The younger was quiet as Jisung approached, eyes trained on the flower instead and it made Jisung worry.

 

“L-lix?” Jisung said hesitantly, sitting at the edge of their bed.

“Is that… Did that…” Felix paused, swallowing thickly. “Where’d you get that flower, Sung?”

“C-changbin…hyung.” Jisung carefully moved forward, handing the flower to Felix. “He said that it was for you. He wants, uhm, wanted to thank you for the memories. He also said that you’d make a beautiful sun.”

 

Felix took the flower with shaking heads, clutching it to his chest tightly as tears started to flow from his eyes. Jisung’s heart broke as he looked at the crying boy in front of him; he never wanted to hurt Felix. Crawling onto the younger, Jisung took the other in his arms, biting his lips as sobs continued to rack Felix’s body.

 

“Changbin hyung…. He kept that flower. No matter how much Hyunjin and I asked for that flower, he said that it was off limits. Reserved for something special, he said.” Felix scoffed, voice watery and thick. “Why was he such an idiot?”

“Because he loved you.” Jisung whispered, rubbing Felix’s arm.

Felix stiffened for a second before he buried his face deeper in Jisung’s chest. “I know.”

 

_What was there left to say?_

\--

Felix was quiet as he walked across the fields, feet dragging at each step. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Hyunjin; he just wasn’t sure if the other wanted to see _him._ During their entire time of knowing each other, the two had spent some time by themselves but either Changbin or Minho had always been around, just a touch away.

 

And now, Hyunjin was alone.

 

The thought was enough for Felix to be more determined to find the other, knowing that Hyunjin was suffering all by himself. He breathed a loud sigh of relief when he saw that the other was still by their spot, sitting by the edge of the pond, almost unmoving. Felix approached him cautiously but the other remained still even when the sun sat down beside him.

 

“Jin ah…” Felix said, breaking the heavy silence between them.

“I got my flowers, Lix. Aren’t they pretty?” Hyunjin asked, tone monotonous.

 

Felix nodded slightly, only actually noticing them for the first time. He lightly touched the moonflower atop Hyunjin’s head, lip quivering as he stared at the carnations surrounding the flower. “They’re pretty, Hyunjin ah.” Felix said, feeling that it was what Hyunjin wanted to hear from him at the moment, eyes fixed on the carnations.

 

_The flowers for grief._

Without another word, Felix wrapped his arms around the taller, pulling Hyunjin down to his chest. Hyunjin’s arms went around him in a flash, the moon’s entire body shaking with sobs before Felix could even find them a comfortable position. The sun’s heart broke as he listened to the other crying. He had told himself that he would be strong, wouldn’t break down because this was for Hyunjin. The whole point of this visit was to make sure that Hyunjin was fine. But try as he might, Felix found himself crying as well, both giving and taking comfort from the man in his arms.

 

“I’m so sorry, Hyunjin.” Felix said after the two of them had calmed down. The tears had subsided but the desire for comfort was still there, evidenced by the interlocked hands that was lying on the grass.

Hyunjin shook his head. “It’s not your fault, Lix.”

“But still… it was Jisung…”

“Yeah, it was Jisung, not you.” Hyunjin interrupted. He sighed deeply, staring at the pond. “And even if it was you, Changbin hyung still wouldn’t have allowed me to get mad. Maybe even more so if it had been you.”

Felix felt hear prickling at his eyes again but he shook his head, gripping Hyunjin’s hand tighter. “I’m sorry…about that too.”

“Hm? That you didn’t like hyung back?” Hyunjin said, tilting his head to look at Felix. He rolled his eyes when the sun nodded. “Don’t be, you idiot. Liking someone doesn’t always mean they have to like you back.” He pursed his lips, looking unsure before continuing. “It didn’t matter anyway. Even if you didn’t like hyung back, you made Changbin hyung really happy. You could have avoided him after he confessed but you didn’t. You stayed with us, with him. So that’s enough, Lix, more than enough.”

 

Felix was quiet after that. After hearing those words from Hyunjin, what more could he possibly say? Not knowing what else to do, Felix allowed himself to be pulled closer when Hyunjin wanted to lean on him. It was the least that he could do.

 

“I’m surprised that Jisung told you what he was going to do.” Hyunjin said after a few minutes of just sitting there.

Felix sighed, leaning his head on Hyunjin’s. “He didn’t. I just woke up when he slipped out.”

Hyunjin mirrored the other’s sigh, pinching Felix’s thigh with his free hand. “The two of you really need to communicate more. You can’t keep on being like this. You need to know things.”

“I know.”

Hyunjin pulled away and sat up straight. There was an urgency in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “I mean it, Felix. Talk to him tomorrow. Ask him what happens next. Tell him that if he doesn’t then I will.”

“Hyunjin…” Felix said, a little surprised by the intensity in the moon’s voice. “What’s going on?”

That seemed to snap Hyunjin out of whatever he had been thinking about and the sense of urgency lessened. Only sadness remained in Hyunjin’s eyes. “Just talk to Jisung first, okay?”

“Y-yeah, okay.”

\--

Jisung would have worried about Felix handling the situation unusually well if he hadn’t noticed how the younger would sometimes just zone out and stare at him. Felix always looked like he had something he wanted to say but whenever Jisung asked him about, he would say that it was nothing. Dread and trepidation began to fill the older sun as he thought about the possibilities of what Felix had wanted to say.

 

Maybe Felix missed Changbin too much? Maybe he couldn’t forgive Jisung for being the one responsible for the moon’s death?

 

Maybe he didn’t love Jisung anymore?

 

Jisung’s flowers were starting to reflect his mood; majority of them were drooping and even his sunflower seemed slightly askew. Seungmin and Jeongin had both asked him about what that meant but he brushed it off by saying that he was only tired. The two seemed to buy the excuse but Felix was different. Jisung could feel the other’s eyes on him the entire time and he could practically see his flowers drooping even more at the unwanted attention.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be visiting Hyunjin?” Jisung asked as they got ready for bed. The two of them had talked about it and Jisung had agreed that Felix needed to be there for Hyunjin more now that he was alone.

Felix shook his head, climbing on the bed and slipping under the covers. “I’ll go tomorrow.” He said, patting the space beside him. “Sungie, come here.”

Jisung’s heart throbbed wildly as he nodded, settling into the space beside the younger. “I see.” He said in an attempt to calm his heart. How long had it been since they had last lain this close to each other?

 

Felix hummed, a sweet little thing as he shifted their positions, placing Jisung’s head on his arm as he threw his other arm across Jisung’s waist. Like this, the two of them could hear each other’s heartbeats and the older sun was embarrassed at how loud his own heart was being, the sound even louder than the blood flowing in his ears. Felix began caressing Jisung’s hip, thumbing at the sparse skin bared there. The younger continued his actions until the sun in his arms had calmed down, both their hearts beating quietly as the night continued to darken.

 

“What’s got you so worked up, baby?” Felix asked, voice gentle as he faced Jisung.

Jisung’s heart spiked again as he faced the other too, grabbing onto Felix’s shoulder. “Is there something you want to tell me? You keep looking like you wanted to say something but you never do.”

“Oh, it was about that.” Felix said, sighing slightly. “I promised Jinnie I was going to talk to you about something but I keep putting it off.”

“Promised Hyunjin? What is it?”

Felix huffed, looking a little put off as he spoke. “I wasn’t sure what to ask you because Hyunjin was being cryptic. Just something about asking you what’s next?” Jisung stiffened up, swallowing nervously as he gripped Felix tighter. “Ji? What is it? What’s wrong?”

 

Jisung shook his head, burying his face in the crook of Felix’s neck when the younger tried to make him look at him. He couldn’t face Felix now. How could he possibly answer that question? That was specifically what Jisung had been avoiding his entire life.

 

_We’re going to be together forever, Lixie!_

That had been the second thing that Jisung had said when he and Felix had met. Jisung had been young, completely naïve and innocent when it came to the way their lives work. He had only known that the younger boy in front of him with the wide eyes, the deep voice and the melodious giggle was someone that Jisung wanted to be with for as long as he could. The feeling had only grown as they grew up as well: Felix and Jisung, Jisung and Felix. That was how they were supposed to be.

 

After knowing their fate, that desire was tinged with darkness, the sense of impossibility dimming their chances of achieving it but in his heart of heart, Jisung had continued to hope, had continued to wish.

 

“Ji, please answer me. You’re scaring me.” Felix said, a hint of urgency in his voice as he shook Jisung’s body. “What’s going to happen?”

“W-we can’t be together forever, Lix ah.” Jisung said, surprising himself at how steady his voice was. He pulled back from Felix, meeting the younger’s gaze. “It’s my turn next, Lix. I… Hyunjin’s going to have to…”

“Don’t.” Felix interrupted, pulling Jisung back to his chest. “T-that’s enough.”

 

Jisung closed his eyes, letting himself be held for a long second before he pulled back, taking Felix’s hands in between his own. He almost changed his decision when he looked at the other’s eyes; tears were pooling at Felix’s eyes and it broke Jisung to see that up close.

 

_Didn’t you and Lix already get into a fight because of your so called ‘protection’? When will you realize that Felix isn’t a kid anymore? He’s the next sun after you, Jisung. He should know what he’s going to be doing._

Changbin had been right. Hyunjin was right. Jisung needed to actually talk to Felix and explain what was going to happen especially now. There wouldn’t be anyone else to guide the younger sun and though Jisung already dreaded leaving Felix behind, he couldn’t live through knowing that he was going to be living his beloved confused at everything. He didn’t want Felix to blame himself for what was about to happen and the only way that that would happen was if Jisung clarified everything.

 

So Jisung forced himself to speak, keeping his eyes trained on Felix the entire time that he was speaking. The conversation had been difficult, for both of them. Jisung found himself wanting to stop, had tried to avoid the younger sun’s eyes but Felix wouldn’t let him. Somewhere in the middle, Jisung had started to cry, the weight of everything he was saying catching up to him and Felix only held him close. Jisung wouldn’t have known that the younger was crying if it wasn’t for the gentle shaking of Felix’s shoulders. Jisung’s heart went out for the younger; Felix was trying so hard to pretend to be strong.

 

“Can’t we do anything about it?” Felix asked in a broken whisper, hands cupping both of Jisung’s cheeks with their foreheads leaning against each other.

Jisung let out a shaky laugh, closing his eyes as he placed his hands on top of Felix’s. “If only there was a way…”

“So, what do we do about it?”

“What is there to do?” Jisung leaned forward, kissing Felix shortly. “I’m going to have to love you enough to make up for the time when I won’t be around anymore.”

\--

Loving was difficult. Loving someone you knew that was going to leave you was infinitely more difficult.

 

Felix found himself dreading the growth of his flowers, knowing that as they grew, his time with Jisung grew shorter. He ripped out the growing buds from his hair, stomping on them in quiet frustration.

 

“Killing the flowers won’t change anything.” Hyunjin commented, bending down to grab a bud that had survived. “Pity too. They’re pretty.”

“I don’t care about that.” Felix sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Who cares if they’re pretty when they only remind me about my limited time with Ji?”

“Aren’t the flowers special though? They represent how we feel and what we want to say. That’s why no bouquet is ever the same.” Hyunjin said quietly, handing Felix the fallen hyacinth. “Jisung has been honest with you. Why are you hiding your pain from him?”

“Who wants to talk about anguish when I’m not even the one dying?” Felix whispered, idly twirling the flower in his hand. “What right do I have to feel sad when it isn’t even me?”

Hyunjin sighed, leaning closer to press a barely there kiss on Felix’s forehead. “Isn’t it a greater grief to be left when the others have all gone?”

Tears pricked Felix’s eyes but he managed to nod, holding Hyunjin’s hand tenderly. “At least we’ll have each other, right?”

“There is that.” Hyunjin agreed, taking the bud from Felix’s hand and perching it on the sun’s ear. “We’ll have each other, Felix, don’t worry.”

\--

Jisung grinned as he watched Felix and Seungmin mock wrestle with Jeongin acting as their referee. It was good to see his lover smiling and playful again. Try as he might, Felix could never fully hide what he was feeling from Jisung so the older sun knew that the other was hurting about their now limited time together. Jisung had pretended not to see how Felix would rip out the flowers from his head but he had cried over those dead buds. It was what he wanted to avoid upon telling the younger but it seemed that Felix had bounced back to normal.

 

“Sungie!”

Jisung turned his head, gasping slightly when he’s met with Felix’s own face so close to his own. Not even a second later, a pair of lips connect with his own and Jisung could vaguely hear Jeongin and Seungmin complaining but he paid them no attention, too focused on the sun in front of him. “What… what was that for?” Jisung asked, breathless after the kiss.

“Just felt like it.” Felix answered, cupping Jisung’s cheek. “I love you, baby.”

Jisung’s cheek turned pink, mindful of Jeongin and Seungmin listening to them. “Lix!”

“What?” Felix pouted. “Are you worried about those two?” He pointed at Seungmin and Jeongin. “Don’t be. They’re just jealous because I have the cutest and most perfect boyfriend.”

 

Jisung giggled as Seungmin and Jeongin both protested but Felix’s focus remained on him. Sighing softly, he leaned against the hand on his cheek, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He could feel his skin grow warmer under the sunlight and he knew that it was because of his own emotions. Jisung was just so happy; anyone could see that the sun was shining brighter than it had before.

 

He could hear gasps coming from Jeongin and Seungmin and Jisung opened his eyes, unaware that he had even closed them in the first place. The two were looking at him in fascination and Jisung wondered what it was he was doing.

 

“H-hyung, you’re….” Jeongin said, awestricken.

“I’m? What is it?” Jisung prompted, looking at them in confusion.

Felix chuckled, turning Jisung’s face back to his. “You’re glowing, baby.” He leaned down, pausing just as their lips were about to touch. “You’re so beautiful, Jisung ah.”

“Kiss me then.” Jisung whispered, leaning up to close that small distance between them.

 

Their seemingly endless bouts of affections were enough to eventually drive Jeongin and Seungmin away, the two walking away with matching teasing smirks on their lips. Still, Jisung could see how happy Seungmin was for them, the glow in the other’s eyes an obvious telltale so he had returned the smirk with a bright smile. Felix and Jeongin were making faces at each other until Seungmin tugged their youngest away. Jisung sighed contentedly, leaning his back against Felix’s chest. The two of them had been glowing for a while now, Felix a tad subtler than Jisung and Jisung had been beyond pleased, raising their connected hands to stare at their glow.

 

“You’re happy.” It’s a question as much as it’s an observation.

Jisung nodded anyway, tipping his head back. “I am happy, love. So so happy.”

Felix smiled, brushing a stray strand of hair from Jisung’s face. “That’s good. I like seeing you happy.”

“And I like seeing you happy too.” Jisung replied. “I’m glad you bounced back to normal, love. I didn’t like seeing you sad.”

A flicker of something dark sparked in Felix’s eyes before the younger sighed, shaking his head. Jisung stared at Felix, watching the emotions ran through his face. “I was being stupid.” Felix concluded. “I was wasting our time together being angry about something beyond our control.” He paused, bending down to kiss Jisung’s forehead. “And you were getting sad seeing me sad. So I figured why make you sad any longer? I should just stop being sad.”

Jisung scrunched his nose. “That’s a whole lot of sad.”

“So was I.” Felix chuckled. “So were you.”

 

Jisung beamed, enjoying the way that Felix was lighting up. He was content with this, with whatever he could get. It wasn’t _the_ best scenario; that would involve both of them living together for a long time but Jisung figured that this was the best that they could get for what was happening.

 

“I love you.” Felix declared, playing with the strands of Jisung’s hair.

“Not as much as I love you.” Jisung replied easily.

“Oh, I doubt that.”

“You shouldn’t.” Jisung countered, placing a hand atop of Felix’s. “Because I’m sure of it.”

\--

“You aren’t Felix.”

 

Jisung whipped around, hastily wiping his tears as Hyunjin stepped out into the light. There was a cold air of beauty surrounding the taller and Jisung wondered if maybe that was just how all moons were supposed to be. The moonlight was playing with Hyunjin’s features, making him seem almost luminescent. Jisung could see why Felix had called the other beautiful.

 

“Jisung, right? What are you doing here? At this hour?” Hyunjin asked, walking closer to the other.

Jisung shook his head, taking a step back. “N-nothing. I just couldn’t sleep.”

“That’s believable from Lix, not you.” Hyunjin replied, eyebrows raised. “Try again.”

“I just wanted to be here, okay? Do I need your permission to be here?”

“I was just asking. No need to get defensive on me.”

 

Jisung huffed, turning away from the other with his arms crossed over his chest. Heat flooded his cheeks. He hadn’t thought that Hyunjin might be here. He wondered if Hyunjin would rat him out to Felix the next time that they would meet.

“You’re still glowing.” Hyunjin remarked, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

Jisung looked down on his hands. “Yeah, I guess.” He turned to the other, noting the frown on Hyunjin’s lips. “Does it bother you?”

“Lix doesn’t do that.”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Felix isn’t the main sun just yet. And do you always call him Lix? He has a name, you know.”

“Yeah but what’s the fun in calling him that? We also call him sunshine if it’s any consolation.” Hyunjin smirked.

“You’re annoying.” Jisung huffed. “I wonder why Felix continues to visit you.”

Hyunjin chuckled, taking a deep breath before raising his head to the sky. Closing his eyes, he spoke somberly. “You were crying earlier.”

Jisung froze; he had thought, had hoped that Hyunjin hadn’t noticed that. “Y-yeah, I was.” He admitted, seeing no point in denying it.

“And you didn’t want Felix to see that’s why you sent him to spend the night with Seungmin, right?”

“How did you know?”

Hyunjin opened his eyes, turning his gaze to the sun. “I was just there actually.” He cocked his head to the side, an almost pitying look on his face. “You and Lixie are so alike. You both like to hide from each other so much. The last time he visited, he had been crying too.”

“Yah, what the….” Jisung muttered as tears fell from his eyes once again. He could imagine it, Felix crying with his shoulders slumped as Hyunjin comforted him. It was painful in more ways than one. “Why did you have to say that…”

 

Hyunjin merely shrugged, eyes still on Jisung as the shorter slumped down as he cried. The gaze pricked on Jisung’s skin but he couldn’t find it in himself to stop crying. There were too many things suddenly and Hyunjin was the blatant reminder of that, of everything that Jisung feared, that Jisung was trying to run away from.

 

“You suns are such crybabies…” Hyunjin muttered.

“You moons are such meanies.” Jisung retorted, wiping his tears. “Why did you have to make me imagine Felix crying huh?”

“So maybe the two of you would want to cry together? Maybe?” Hyunjin shrugged. When Jisung failed to reply, the moon fully faced the sun, an intense look on his eyes as he stared Jisung down. “Especially since it’s going to be soon, you know.”

“Shut up, Hyunjin.”

\--

_“Jisung, what’s this?”_

_“It’s a flower called dahlia. It’s one of my favorite flowers.”_

_“What does it mean then? I know you love meaningful flowers the best.”_

_A pause._

_The gentle rustle of flowers brushing against each other._

_A quiet snap as one is plucked._

_“It means ‘marriage’, love.”_

_“Marriage?”_

_“Marriage is a human concept. It means two people wanting to be together forever, to spend the rest of their lives in each other’s presence and making memories together.”_

_A radiant smile._

_“I like the sound of that. I want to have that with you, Jisungie.”_

_Another pause._

_“I want to have that with you too, Lixie. But since we can’t, just have this flower and think of it as something like that, okay?”_

_“Does that mean we’re married now?”_

_The slow coloring of two faces._

_“You look really pretty with pink in your cheeks.”_

_“Felix!”_

_A shy embarrassed laugh._

_“I love you, Jisungie.”_

_“I love you too, Lixie.”_

\--

Jisung moved slowly, eyes glimmering as he took in the sight of the sun temple. Everything was glimmering gold and even in the dimmed light, it was still glowing. The moment he stepped inside, he knew that he wasn’t the first one there. There was apparently a cold feeling to the moon’s presence in the sun temple. He tried to keep himself composed as he ventured further into the temple but he was still shaking when his eyes met with Hyunjin’s.

 

“Hello.” Hyunjin greeted, tone serious, eyes somber.

“H-hi.” Jisung replied, voice shaky as he watched Hyunjin.

 

There was something shockingly cold in Hyunjin’s demeanor. Maybe it was in the way that the moon pushed himself off the wall, almost seeming indifferent about everything, the way that his eyes seem to gloss over Jisung, already running past the sun. The entire aura from Hyunjin was enough for Jisung to start shivering again, not even bothering to hide it from the other anymore.

 

“You’re scared.” Hyunjin commented in a hollow voice.

“Of course I am.” Jisung answered. “I’m scared of leaving Felix alone.”

“Does he know, what’s happening right now?”

“No.”

 

Hyunjin squinted, eyes getting sharper at Jisung’s reply. But before Jisung could even make up an excuse, he felt something flicker in the air and he turned to see Felix standing there, eyes hard as he stared at Jisung down. Jisung swallowed thickly, feeling the tears prick at his eyes just by the mere sight of his lover. He couldn’t do it with Felix here.

 

“Lixie, why are you here?”

Felix stared at Jisung for a heartbeat longer before he shifted his gaze to Hyunjin. “Hyunjin told me what was going to happen.”

Jisung gasped, turning to Hyunjin. “Why did you?!”

“Because he deserves to know.” Hyunjin said calmly, eyes going even colder. “I promised Felix there were going to be no secrets between us. I’m just honoring that promise.”

“Jisung, hey… Wait.” Felix said, approaching the two. His gaze had gone soft, watery even as he gazed down at Jisung. “I want to be here.”

 

_“I don’t want this to be our last memory together.”_

_“But he’ll be the last thing you’ll see.”_

_“I want him to remember me smiling and calling him an idiot.”_

Tears welled up in Jisung’s eyes as he looked at Felix. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t be like Changbin and spare himself, and Felix, the pain of the final goodbye. He wanted Felix here, wanted to stretch out their time together as much as possible. Within a second, Jisung had closed the distance between them and was holding Felix tightly in his arms as he started to cry.

 

_I want more together. I want more of Felix._

“Jisung… it’s time.” Hyunjin reminded, some emotion finally returning to his voice.

“L-lix… Love, I’m scared. I don’t want to leave you.” Jisung admitted, gripping Felix’s arms.

Felix smiled, albeit a bit forced. “Don’t be scared, baby. I’m here.”

“You won’t… you’ll stay for the passing?”

“Yeah. That’s what being married means, right? Spending the rest of our lives with each other.” Felix explained, pulling back from Jisung’s hold so he could lace their hands together. Jisung’s eyes fall on the dahlia perched on Felix’s ear. “Maybe I could also make you less scared? Give you some of my strength.”

“Lix, you know it doesn’t work like that.” Hyunjin interrupted with a sigh. “I’m not comfortable about you being here, this close. What if the passing affects you too?”

“It won’t.” Felix said confidently. “Or maybe it will and Jisung and I could just become the suns together.”

“There is no half sun. There’s a reason why the sun has no phases.”

“Jin.” Felix sighed, sounding tired and worn down. “You could at least let me hope, okay?”

 

Jisung looked at the younger, chest feeling warm and full as he stared at Felix. The other sun was willing to defy the rules set by the universe for them just to be with Jisung. It just made him fall for Felix even deeper. Jisung continued to stare at the younger; the other’s eyes were shining with unshed tears but Felix was managing to hold them back. Jisung wondered just how much effort his lover was exerting to not cry at this moment.

 

_This is the one that I love the most._

 

“Hey, Felix.” Jisung said, sniffling as he freed one of his hands to wipe at his tears.

“Yes, baby?” Felix asked, watching Jisung with such a fond look.

“I love you. So so much. Thank you for being here, even when it’s hard and even if you don’t want to show me you’re suffering as well. I’m happy that I chose to love you and I’m even happier that of anyone you could be with, you chose to love me.” Jisung announced, staring right at Felix’s eyes. His heart jumped when he saw the tears welling up in the younger’s eyes. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” He punctuated each statement with a kiss to Felix’s cheeks, eyes, nose and lips until he tasted salt on his tongue.

“Jisungie….” Felix whined, tears running down his cheeks.

Jisung shook his head, wiping some of the fallen tears before turning to Hyunjin. “I’m ready now.”

 

 

Felix wouldn’t budge even when Hyunjin had tried to pull him away. Jisung wanted to argue with his lover but the moon merely shook his head, taking a deep breath before getting into position. Jisung was surprised when Felix had pulled him into his arms, standing in between him and Hyunjin. Even when the moon had placed his hand on Jisung’s shoulder, careful not to touch Felix at all, Felix held Jisung in his embrace. The words to the chant of the passing were merely background noise for Jisung; his ears could only hear the repetitive ‘I love you’s’ that Felix was saying.

_This wasn’t such a bad way to go._

\--

Hyunjin stared as Felix continued holding onto nothing, head bent down as tears ran down his face. There was something heavy in his chest as he watched his friend continue to cry. He wanted to reach out and comfort the other but he wondered if he could. What if Felix just pushed him away?

 

“Lix?” Hyunjin called out carefully, placing his hand on Felix’s shoulder.

“Hyunjinnie…” Felix whimpered before he turned around and buried his face in the moon’s chest.

 

Hyunjin’s body shook along with the force of Felix’s cries and he found himself silently crying as well. The fates were cruel to them but it was what it was.

 

“I’m here, Lix. I’ll be here for you.” Hyunjin promised, meaning every single word. He kissed the top of Felix’s head. “I’ll take care of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a long time to write because I got busy but also because I wasnt quite ready to let this go just yet. I was initially going to have Felix find out that Jisung was gone from Hyunjin AFTER the passing over but after thinking about it, I wanted them to spend more time together. It was another point of contrast with how Changbin had passed over. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this! I really enjoyed writing this Jilix and hopefully, I can write more Jilix content in the future. 
> 
> ALSO, I got a wonderful comment from wishIwasbetter so I will be answering the questions from that comment:  
> Q: What are these people?  
> A: I'm not really sure how to answer this because this was such a burst of idea. But I guess, the closest thing I can say to describe them are personifications of the celestial bodies (sun, moon, clouds, rain, everything in the sky)  
> Q: Why do they kill each other?  
> A: Them 'killing' each other is basically an eclipse occurring. The 'killing' or passing over can also be seen as the changing of who is going to be the 'main' sun or moon. The 'main' sun or moon is the one that's actually up in the sky.  
> Q: What are these flowers they grow?  
> A: I actually only inserted these flowers because Felix looks so good with a flower crown. HAHAHA. But! For this fic, the flowers symbolize their status. For suns, they start growing flowers on their head if they're about to become the main sun. For moons, however, they only get their flowers once they ARE the main moon.  
> Q: Why did Youngjae seem to live so long but Minho died so fast?  
> A: Minho actually did live for a long time too but he was the main moon for only a short time. The reason for this was because I was trying to use their actual ages. There is a bigger age gap between Youngjae and Jisung while there's merely a year between Minho and Changbin. 
> 
> to wishIwasbetter, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY YOU HAVE MADE ME. <3 ^0^


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